Destination Wedding
by valeri29
Summary: Bella Swan has always loved Jasper and Edward Cullen. One is her best friend. The other has been her crush since puberty. When Bella becomes engaged, she plans a romantic wedding aboard a cruise ship..but who will be the groom?
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

I had loved only two men in my life.

Of course, they hadn't actually been men to begin with. When I met them, they were boys. But that was fitting, since I was only a girl myself at the time.

My childhood had been a lonely one until they came along. I had always felt out of step, never really fitting in with the other girls my age. I'd tried everything I could think of to get them to like me, but nothing ever worked. For some reason I didn't understand, I just didn't seem to have much of a talent for making friends.

That all changed when I met _them_.

When my parents had told me that a new family would be moving into the house next door, I was a confused mixture of nervous and excited. Would this new family include a girl close to my age? Would she be the best friend I had longed for? Or would she end up hating me like everyone else seemed to?

I had butterflies in my stomach as I stood in my front yard, watching the moving van pull in to the driveway next door. The burly men dressed in matching blue shirts climbed down from the huge truck and opened the back. They were soon unloading heavy pieces of furniture and carrying them into the three-story white Victorian that had always kindled my imagination.

The house had been empty for a long time. The last occupant – a formidable old grand-dame according to my mother and an ancient dragon-lady according to my dad – had died when I was still just a baby. Rumor had it that the old lady, Elizabeth Masen Platt, had left the property to her son, but that he had had no desire to live in the house. He hadn't sold it though, and had just held on to it for all these years.

I secretly thought Mrs. Platt's son must be crazy for not wanting to live in such a beautiful place. Growing up, it had always seemed to me to be the next best thing to having a castle next door.

The house had a multi-gabled roofline with overhanging eaves. On one side, there was an actual tower inset with windows on the ground floor and opening up to a circular balcony on the third. There were dentils and wrought iron decorating the roof and the tower balcony. There was a wraparound porch with distinguished white columns appearing to stand sentinel on either side of the emerald green door. Shutters the same shade of green framed every window but one – my favorite one. On the third floor there was a room with a bay window that faced the now overgrown garden.

I'd never been inside the house, but in my heart I knew that room with the bay window would rival any secret bower belonging to a fairytale princess. And I spent hours dreaming that I was the princess who lived in the magical room that overlooked the garden.

According to my parents, Mrs. Platt's granddaughter and her family would be the ones living in my dream house now.

Would one of them occupy the room with the bay window? Maybe their little girl who would hopefully be my new best friend?

And if we did become friends, maybe she would invite me for sleepovers in the room with the bay window. Wouldn't that be almost as good as living there myself?

I was lost in dreams until a black luxury car – a Mercedes – startled me by parking on the street between my house and the one next door.

This was it. This must be them.

The car's windows were darkly tinted, so I couldn't make out who was inside. I held my breath as I waited for my first glimpse of the new neighbors.

The front passenger side door was the first to open and out stepped the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. Her hair fell in caramel-colored waves that curled around her shoulders in a style that reminded me of those popular in the 1940's. Her skin was pale but flawless, her make-up kept light to let her natural beauty shine through. The pencil skirt and delicate, frilly blouse she wore were the same deep purple hue as the peep-toe pumps on her feet. And when her eyes fell on me and a gentle smile graced her lips, she made me feel special, even though we hadn't yet met.

Drawn to her, I closed the distance between us. "Hi," I said, "Welcome to the neighborhood."

"Hello," the woman's voice was as gentle as her smile. "Thank you for the welcome. What's your name, sweetheart?"

I opened my mouth to answer her, and it was a good thing, because my mouth surely would have dropped open anyway at the sight of the gorgeous blond man who was emerging from the driver's side of the car. I was stunned speechless for a moment. I had never seen a man this handsome outside of the movies.

Luckily, I remembered the woman's question before the silence became embarrassing. "Umm, I'm Bella. Bella Swan. And I live right there." I waved my hand in the direction of my house, and then wished I could kick myself. Of course that's where I lived. Could I be any more lame?

The woman held out her hand to me. It took me a second to realize that she wanted to shake my hand like I was someone who mattered and not just a kid. When I placed my hand in hers, she said, "It's nice to meet you, Bella. I'm Esme Cullen. And this is my husband, Carlisle."

"Hello, Bella," Mr. Cullen said in a smooth baritone that held the trace of a lilting accent. "Thank you for the welcome. It's an auspicious start to our life here."

I didn't know what to say, so I just smiled and nodded in his direction.

Nobody else left the car.

I was confused. I had been told that a family was moving in, but was it just the two of them? Or did they have babies or maybe toddlers secured into carseats in the back?

Returning my attention to Mrs. Cullen, I decided it was time to do some fishing for information. "You know, Mrs. Cullen, if you have little ones, I'm a great babysitter. I've taken a first aid class _and_ a babysitter certification class at the hospital. And I'll be twelve in September. So, if you ever need me…"

"Thank you, Bella, but we don't have babies anymore. Now they just act like babies from time to time," she said throwing an exasperated glance towards the car.

"Actually, we have a son who is exactly your age," Mr. Cullen added.

A son. I did my best to hide my disappointment. Maybe they also had a daughter who was just a year or two older or younger. I wouldn't be picky about age when it came to a best friend. I put on a smile that I hoped looked genuine as I replied, "That's great, Mr. Cullen. I'll be happy to show him around school when it starts if he'd like."

"That's very kind of you, Bella. I'm sure my son would be delighted to have such a charming tour guide. My name, though, is actually Dr. Cullen. I've taken a position at the local hospital."

A blush crept across my cheeks. I felt like I'd just made a mortifying mistake by not addressing him by the correct title, but honestly how could I have known? "I'm sorry, Dr. Cullen," I apologized.

His eyes softened as he looked at me. "Think nothing of it. In fact, knowing that we're going to be good friends, I'd be pleased if you'd call me Carlisle."

"And I'm Esme."

I smiled at them both. I'd never met such cool grown-ups before. Well, not ones who hadn't known me since birth like my parents' friends.

"Thank you, Carlisle. Esme."

Glancing curiously over Esme's shoulder at the Mercedes, I asked, "So where are your children? Didn't they come with you? Or are they arriving later?"

The couple traded a glance that was half-amused and half-aggravated.

"I'm afraid our eldest isn't happy about moving here and is currently sulking in the backseat," Esme answered. "Our youngest feels the need to be supportive, which is why you haven't seen either of them yet."

Carlisle opened the rear driver's side door and said, "Come on out, Edward. Bella came over to meet you. She's graciously volunteered to show you around your new school. Be a gentleman and greet her properly."

So Edward must be the son who was my age. But was he the elder or younger sibling?

Curious, I stood on tiptoe to see if he would get out of the car. Moments later, I saw a head with the craziest tousled hair I'd ever seen emerge. And the color! It was not exactly red nor was it brown, but some unfamiliar combination of the two. It wasn't auburn or chestnut or mahogany. If I had to name it, I would say it was bronze, but I'd never encountered anyone with bronze hair before.

As Edward turned to face me, I saw that his skin was milky-white. On most people, it would probably make them appear sickly or weak, but his was just the natural creamy complexion of a redhead. And luckily for him, he had gotten the gorgeous skin without the curse of freckles to go along with it.

At last, he focused his gaze on me, and I could see he had the same dark green eyes as his mother. Framed by long eyelashes that any girl would kill for, his eyes were truly beautiful.

He was definitely cute. Not that I cared about that. I wasn't really interested in boys yet.

Edward walked around the car and came to stand before me. Reaching out, he offered me his hand just as his mother had. "Hi, I'm Edward."

"Hi, Edward. I'm Bella. Well, Isabella really. But everyone calls me Bella," I rambled a little nervously as I took his hand. But as my hand came to rest in his, my nervousness instantly disappeared and I felt a sense of peace and belonging that I'd never felt before. Intuitively I knew that I would be comfortable with him, that it would be easy to like him. "I hope we can be friends," I said sincerely.

He smiled at me. Well, it was more of a half-smile really, one side of his mouth pulling up into a winning crooked grin that made me feel warm and happy. "I would like that, Bella. Very much."

I returned his smile, extremely pleased with my new friend. But I was still curious about the other Cullen sibling. Did Edward have a sister? And if she was this sulky and unfriendly, did I really want her to be my best friend?

My musing was interrupted by Esme opening the rear passenger door and declaring, "I've had enough. It's time for you to stop the moping and come out and be sociable."

From where I was standing next to Edward, I couldn't see into the car. I only heard a voice – a definitely male voice – say in a petulant tone, "Aw, mom. Do I have to? What do I care about the baby next door?"

Baby?

I was horribly offended.

Didn't this boy realize that I was practically a teenager? Or I would be in a year and just a couple of months anyway.

"Jasper Zachary Cullen!" Carlisle said sharply, "Get yourself out here right now and be civil."

"Okay, okay. I'm coming. But I'm not happy about it."

"I think we figured that out on our own, son," Esme said with a hint of amusement in her tone.

I already knew I wouldn't like this particular Cullen, sight unseen. There was absolutely nothing he could do to repair my negative first impression of him now. It was too late.

I crossed my arms over my chest and let out a huff, waiting.

And then a tall boy of fourteen or maybe fifteen unfolded himself lazily from the backseat.

My mouth went dry.

I was frozen.

I couldn't help but stare.

His hair was the same golden blond of his father but he'd obviously inherited his mother's waves. It was longer than his brother's, falling just past the tops of his ears. Also unlike Edward's messy but stylish disarray, Jasper's hair was brushed carefully away from his face – drawing attention to his eyes, his nose, his high cheekbones, and of course his soft-pink lips – but was still a riot of blond waves and curls that practically begged to be touched. His eyes were a striking silver-grey like a still pond on an overcast day. He looked to be about the same height as Carlisle already, and he had to still be growing. His body was lean, but he didn't look skinny or scrawny. There appeared to be some muscle under his grey t-shirt, but he didn't look over-muscled like a football player. Still, he definitely had the body of an athlete.

Nope, I definitely wouldn't _like_ this particular Cullen.

Love, on the other hand… Now that was an entirely different matter altogether.

* * *

For those of you who read my story On a Lonesome Road, I'm planning for this to be quite the departure. This is my first attempt at a semi-fluffy romance. We'll see how it goes, huh?

Huge thanks to DeltaSwan90 and Gemmabobella for always giving me their honest opinions...even when it hurts. And I'm extremely grateful to Vican for creating such a wonderful banner.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 1 – Who Knew Girls Weren't Really Yucky?

My entire life I'd been a tag-along. For as long as I could remember, I'd worshiped my brother and wanted to be wherever he was. Whatever Jazz was doing, I wanted to be a part of it too. When he was hanging out with friends, I would hover on the fringes, just hoping to be included.

How did that work out for me, you may ask? Unfortunately, not as well as I would have liked.

You see, Jazz was three years older than me. And he didn't really see me as a brother so much as a pain in his ass.

I was the one who always slowed him down. I was the one Mom forced him to take along and look after. I was the one who cramped his style. Jasper was always popular and had a lot of friends, and I was his nerdy, bookworm brother who never fit in.

I never really made friends of my own, because I was too busy trying to keep up with Jasper. I wanted desperately to fit into his world of sports and friends and being cool. I did everything I could to make myself over into Jazz's image, which meant I never figured out how to just be me.

That all changed the day we moved to Forks, Washington and I met a certain girl with big brown eyes.

I'd never even thought about befriending a girl before. My world had been a guy's world. Until now, my mom had been the only female in my life – and as much as I loved my mother, I looked at the girly world of flowers and pink and high heels and junk like that and thought it was just plain stupid. I mean seriously, who in their right mind wanted to walk in shoes with four inch heels? You had to be psycho to even try, right?

Jazz didn't exactly influence my view of girls for the better either. He had told me repeatedly that I'd be retarded to ever trust someone who bleeds for five days and doesn't die. Yeah, when I finally got "the talk" from my Dad and figured out what Jasper had been telling me for the past two years, I didn't thank him for the visual that put into my head. I mean, gross.

But Bella was…different somehow. I'd felt it from the very beginning.

When we'd first pulled up to our new house, I had stayed in the car to show my support for Jasper. But that wasn't the only reason why I didn't move until Carlisle made me come out. I'd seen her standing in front of the house next door, and I couldn't look away.

Not that I liked her or anything. Girls were yucky, right? But I'd never seen a girl like her before. I mean, I could say she was pretty without it having to be a big deal. That was just a statement of fact. She was pretty. Noticing that fact didn't turn me into a wuss now, did it?

As I watched her approaching our car and then talking to my parents, I noticed that the long hair that she had pulled back into a ponytail wasn't just brown like I'd first thought. The sun shone through it bringing out red tones that made her hair more like mahogany than plain brown. Her eyes, too, weren't simply brown, but a dark chocolate, soft and warm. And when my father said something to her, the most beautiful blush stained her cheeks. I had missed what Dad said to make her blush like that, but strangely I wished that I'd been the one to put it there and not him. Crap, I _was_ turning into a wuss!

My dad took that opportune moment to open my door and chastise me in front of this girl. "Come on out, Edward. Bella came over to meet you. She's graciously volunteered to show you around your new school. Be a gentleman and greet her properly."

Gee whiz, thanks for that Dad. Now she was going to think that I was some sort of punk with no manners. Someone like Jasper! And for the first time, I didn't want to be anything like my brother.

Not that Jazz was really all that bad. He was just fourteen. So I think the smart mouth and the bad attitude came along with the surging hormones or something. My mom said Jasper's hormones were also the reason I could never get in our bathroom anymore. She said that he was getting older and needed more privacy. I suspected that there was actually a whole other reason he was always in the bathroom, but I refused to let myself think too much about it.

Thank God I had a little more time before puberty reared its ugly head. I guess that's why I could meet the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen with absolutely no reaction. She was just a girl for goodness sake. That meant there had to be another reason for my suddenly sweaty palms.

I had discretely wiped my hand on my pants before I walked around the car to meet her. Confident that it would no longer feel like freshly caught halibut, I offered my hand to her. "Hi, I'm Edward." And obviously I was a dork. My dad had already told her my name.

"Hi, Edward," she said in the sweetest voice I'd ever heard. "I'm Bella."

Bella…the name did her justice. It wasn't common like Jessica or Sarah or Hannah, and I could tell that this girl was out of the ordinary too. Her name was something special, beautiful…just like her.

Then she took my hand, and I had the strangest feeling. I didn't feel awkward or out of place any more. The only way I could describe it was that it felt like…coming home.

"I hope we can be friends."

I couldn't help but smile as I heard those words from her lips. No, I'd never had a girl friend before, but I wanted her to be my first. "I would like that, Bella. Very much."

And then my dumbass brother had to go and blow my big moment with her. He'd actually had the nerve to call Bella a baby. Where in heaven's name were the boy's eyes? True, she was younger than Jasper, but she certainly wasn't a baby!

When she dropped my hand to cross her arms angrily over her chest, I had never wanted to kick Jazz so much in my life. I could tell she was mad, and I couldn't blame her. My stupid brother had pulled that baby stuff with me too many times to count. I knew how much I hated it, and I could see Bella felt the same way.

As Jasper finally dragged himself out of the car, I turned and gave him a death glare. Not that he noticed.

I loved him, but he could be such an ass sometimes. I just hoped Bella wouldn't hold his crappy attitude against me.

I turned back to Bella just in time to see a flash of something in her eyes before her expression suddenly went blank. In that moment, I could tell that she'd had a strong reaction to Jasper before she'd carefully hidden it. I just couldn't quite put my finger on what that reaction had been. All I knew was that it had made me uneasy, and I didn't like the feeling.

~*~E~*~E~*~E~*~

I stood fidgeting on Bella's front porch. We'd spent a lot of time talking the day before as she'd helped me carry boxes up to my new room. But this was the first time I had been to her house.

I was nervous about possibly meeting her parents. For some unknown reason, I wanted to make a good impression, so I'd dressed in my nicest pair of khaki cargo shorts and a hunter green polo shirt. It was an outfit I'd worn to church on the hottest summer days in Chicago and not something I usually wore just to hang out with a friend.

When Jazz had seen me, he'd burst out laughing and said I looked like an accountant on a golf outing. My brother thought he was funny. In reality? Not so much. Since we were in the kitchen at the time and my mother was standing right there, I hadn't flipped him off like I really wanted to. Instead, I just walked right past him like I hadn't heard a thing. There was no sense letting him know he'd gotten to me. He enjoyed that stuff way too much.

Bella had told me that her dad was the Chief of Police here in Forks and that he often worked weekends. But seeing his cruiser parked in their driveway, I knew that he was home. I was just hoping he wouldn't be the one answering the door.

Luckily, Bella and I were only friends. I couldn't imagine how freaked out I would be if I were here picking her up for a date. I was man enough to admit that the thought of her father not only owning a gun but also most likely having the know-how and clout to make me disappear without a trace was more than a little intimidating. I pitied Bella's future boyfriends.

I then pictured some generic guy coming to pick Bella up and turning tail to run when her father opened the door dressed in full uniform, with mirrored sunglasses covering his eyes, and a gun strapped to his hip.

The image brought a smile to my lips.

My smile faded, however, when the door opened and there stood the man himself.

I stood there for a moment trying to remember exactly why I was there. Then I cleared my throat nervously and held out my hand. "Hello, Chief Swan. I wanted to formally introduce myself. I'm Edward Cullen. Bella's new friend."

Chief Swan raised one eyebrow. Not exactly the confidence booster I needed.

My hand was left hanging out there in the space between us. He made no move to take it.

I knew I must look like a complete tool, and I wondered how long I should wait with my hand outstretched before I simply gave up and dropped it. Just when I thought I might wither and die of humiliation on the spot, he finally reached out and shook my hand.

"Edward. It's nice to meet you. Are you here for Bella?"

"Yes, sir. I thought I'd see if she wanted to hang out this afternoon."

He released my hand and crossed his arms over his chest, giving me an appraising look. "And just what do you have planned?"

Plans? I was supposed to have plans? This wasn't a date, so I hadn't really thought about anything beyond spending time with Bella. "Umm… I'm not sure, sir. I…I thought I'd see what Bella wanted to do."

That wasn't exactly a lie. I had been planning to ask Bella for suggestions on what we could do. But I'd really said it as a fly by the seat of my pants maneuver trying to say the right thing to her father.

You can imagine my relief when he nodded and smiled. "Very wise, Edward. You seem to know a thing or two about women already. When you do make plans, they just change them for you anyway. It's best to let them have their way from the beginning…within reason, of course."

I could tell from the twinkle in his eyes that he was having fun with me. Amused, I asked, "You think Bella would ask me to do anything I shouldn't, sir?"

"Well, son, all I can say is if she brings out the Barbies, just say no."

I laughed.

That is, I laughed until a ticked off Bella pushed past her father and joined me on the porch.

"Knock it off, Dad. You're scaring Edward off for no reason. You know I haven't even touched a Barbie since I was like six," she huffed.

He gave her an unrepentant grin. "Aw, don't be mad, Bells. The boy knew I was just teasing."

And suddenly I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

Did I try to appease Bella?

Or please her father?

The very thought sobered me, which Bella seemed to take as a sign that I hadn't been laughing at her. Seeming satisfied, she turned her back on her father and started down the porch steps.

Apprehensively, I looked back at Chief Swan to see if I'd offended him. It surprised me to see him grinning indulgently at me and then waving me off to go join his daughter.

I didn't know how I'd done it, but somehow I had managed to dodge the bullet with both of them. I was in the clear.

I triumphantly followed Bella down the stairs. We started across the lawn together only to be stopped again by her father. "Oh and Bells?"

She rolled her eyes at me before she turned to face him. "Yes, Dad?" she asked in a long-suffering tone.

"If you two go for a walk in the woods, promise me you'll stay on the path this time? I don't want to have to send Sam after you if you get lost again."

"That happened once! Are you ever going to let me forget it?" she asked indignantly.

"That was one time too many, Isabella Marie Swan. You took ten years off my life that day. Stay on the path."

She sighed, "Yes, Daddy."

Taking my hand, she tugged me away from her father. I knew she only did it to hurry me into putting distance between us and her dad, but I liked it. It felt nice, and I wished I could just concentrate on the warmth of her hand in mine. But something was bothering me. I couldn't stop wondering who in the heck Sam could be.

From our talk the day before, I knew that she was an only child. So he couldn't be her brother.

Was he just a friend? Or was he something more to her?

By the time we got to my house and sat in the front porch swing, I couldn't take the suspense any longer. "Who's Sam?"

She looked surprised by my question. "Oh. Sam's just somebody I've known forever. My parents are good friends with some of the people who live on the Quileute reservation in La Push. Sam is one of the boys from there."

So far, I was _not_ liking this answer. "So, he's our age?"

"Umm… No. He's the same age as your brother, I think."

An older man who was close to Bella and her family? I didn't like this at all.

I wasn't sure I wanted to hear the answer, but I felt compelled to ask her, "Is he your boyfriend?"

Bella wrinkled up her nose. "Sam? No. Absolutely not. I grew up with him. He's like my brother."

Well, that was good. It was nice that she had that kind of brother/sister relationship with someone…as long as it stayed that way.

But what about the other boys she'd mentioned? Did she feel the same way about them? "So, are you close to any of the other guys on the reservation?"

She pushed her feet against the porch floor to set the swing in motion. "I guess I'm closest to Jacob. His father is best friends with my dad, so we spend lots of time together."

Why did hearing that make my stomach churn? I was too young for an ulcer, right? Yeah, it was just because I liked her as a friend and I was a little jealous about her being close friends with another guy. That was it.

"But you guys are just friends? You don't have any other feelings for Jacob?"

She snorted at that. "Edward, Jacob is like nine years old. No, I don't see him as anything other than a little brother type. All of the boys on the rez are more like extended family to me."

And then she looked at me curiously, "Why do you ask?"

Hmm, why was I asking exactly? Unsure, I shrugged and said the first thing that came to mind. "I just want to know about my new best friend, that's all."

She smiled at me, and I felt all warm and gooey inside. Bella had a really great smile.

"So, what about you, Edward? Do you have a girl back in Chicago? Or a best friend that I need to be jealous of?" She nudged her shoulder into mine playfully.

I grinned at her. "The answer to both your questions would be no. I've always tried to hang out with Jazz and his friends, but they mostly left me out of whatever they were doing. And I wasn't really interested in any of the girls back home."

"I know what you mean," she told me. "I'm not sure I'm ready to have a boyfriend yet and get into the whole messy love thing. There'll be plenty of time for that junk later, right?"

First my stomach was churning, and now my chest hurt. Was I coming down with something? I hoped I didn't give it to Bella. "Sure," I agreed reluctantly. "We have loads of time before we have to deal with that stuff."

We were silent for a minute, just enjoying the light breeze that rolled over us as we slowly rocked the swing.

"Edward?" Bella said, breaking the silence.

"Hmm?"

"You called your brother Jazz earlier. Why? Is that his nickname?"

A little confused by the abrupt change of topic, it took me a second to get my brain to work. "Oh. Yeah. It is."

"Why Jazz?" she asked. "Is it just short for Jasper? Or does he play an instrument or something? Does he like jazz?"

Why the sudden interest in my brother?

Dismissing it as understandable curiosity about her new neighbors, I answered, "Jasper plays guitar, but he isn't into jazz. He likes rock…the louder and angrier the better. And I think if it was just a shortening for Jasper, Jas would make more sense."

"So, how did he get the nickname then?" she persisted.

"It's from his initials actually – J.Z. for Jasper Zachary. My parents sometimes called him J.Z. when he was little and I guess it eventually morphed into Jazz."

Bella nodded, curiosity seemingly satisfied.

Another few moments went by before she stood up and then pulled me to my feet beside her. "I feel like taking a walk. You game?" she asked.

"Sure," I said. "Are we walking down the lane or in the woods?"

"Woods," she replied decisively.

I gave her a teasing grin, "And are we going to stay on the path?"

Bella gave me a droll stare, "What would be the fun in that, Edward? Don't you like to live dangerously?"

"Sometimes, but I'm not exactly sure I want to get lost. Should I go inside and grab some breadcrumbs to mark our trail."

She scoffed, "Edward, you know that never works. Not even in fairy tales. That is, unless your goal is to get us eaten by a witch living in a gingerbread house."

I laughed, enjoying this conversation. "I guess we'll just have to take special care not to get lost then. Don't worry, Bella. I have a really great sense of direction."

She smiled. "Well, that's good to know. But I should probably warn you before we get started that I can be kind of a klutz sometimes."

"I think I figured that out yesterday when you tripped over thin air walking into my house."

She huffed, "Yeah, well, I never claimed to be graceful. And if you think thin air trips me up, just wait until you see what tree roots do to me. Every time I go for a walk in the woods, I always end up with skinned knees, elbows, or hands…or some combination of the three. You may be called upon to catch me if I start to fall."

I didn't have a problem with that at all. "Bella, I'm at your service. I'd be more than happy to rescue you whenever you need it."

As jobs go, catching Bella whenever she fell sounded like a good one to me.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this first glimpse into Edward's thoughts. Next up, you'll be hearing from Jasper.

Huge thanks to Gemmabobella, DeltaSwan90, and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for creating the beautiful banner for Destination Wedding on Twilighted(dot)net.

If you have any questions and/or comments about Destination Wedding, or you'd just like to come hang out, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread in the Twilighted forums -

http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 2 – Teenage Wasteland

God, it sucked to be me right now.

I'd been ripped from my life, from my friends, from everything I knew and dragged to this godforsaken place.

Forks, Washington.

Even the name was stupid.

It rained all the damn time. I'd only seen the sun once since we moved here – on the day after we arrived. Since then, there had been some form of rain every day for the last month. It sprinkled, drizzled, and poured. It came down in buckets. It rained cats and dogs. Every cliché you'd ever heard or thought of about rain, I'd seen it in the past four weeks.

How did anyone survive in this place without sprouting webbed feet and gills? I was seriously considering asking for scuba gear for my birthday in August. I had a feeling I'd need it this fall…just to get to school without drowning.

Why did we have to move here? I was happy before. I had loved everything about my life. The last thing I'd wanted to do was leave it!

We had lived in one of the affluent suburbs of Chicago. It was like living in a small town with all the benefits of a big city right in our own backyard. We were close enough to drive into Chicago to watch the Cubs play a game at Wrigley Field, or to visit the countless museums, or shop on the Magnificent Mile, but were far enough away that we didn't have to deal with the grittier aspects of living in the city. I couldn't imagine a better place to live…and if there were such a place, it certainly wouldn't be Forks!

As for my everyday life, that had been just the way I liked it too.

I hadn't had any complaints about school. I mean, I wasn't a brainiac or anything, but I did okay. I managed to get B's and stuff without being a total nerd like my brother.

Yeah, I definitely hadn't been a nerd or a social retard the way Edward was.

Not to be conceited or anything, but I'd always been extremely popular. All the guys wanted to be my friends, and most of the girls wanted to date me.

I know what you're thinking…so much for not being conceited. But I'm really not. I'm just stating the facts.

I was a starter on my football and basketball teams.

I played guitar in a garage band with three of my friends.

And…

Objectively speaking, I wasn't hard on the eyes – tall and blond and reasonably good-looking.

In my world as it had been, all these things combined meant I was practically a god amongst my classmates. I couldn't help that, could I?

My love life?

I definitely did okay. I hadn't had a girlfriend or anything before I left. But that had only been because I hadn't wanted one. I was young, and I enjoyed being single.

I had always been a flirt. My mom claimed I had wrapped women around my little finger easily from the moment I was born. They were drawn to my blond curls and grey eyes and the dimple in my left cheek when I smiled, of course, but it was my reaction to them that made me truly irresistible. The truth was that I'd always loved women – how they looked and smelled and moved.

Even as a small child, I remembered women visiting my mother or seeing pretty ladies in restaurants or at church. I would smile at them shyly at first, playing coy, and before they knew it, I was in their laps, wrapping my arms around their necks and asking if they wanted to take me home with them. They always hugged me back and kissed my cheek, telling me they would take me home if my mom and dad would have allowed it.

What can I say; I guess I had natural charisma when it came to the ladies. Thankfully that gift hadn't gone away as I got older. I still loved to flirt, spending time with whichever girl happened to be available to me at the moment. And the girls I set my sights on – like the women from my childhood – found it difficult to resist my charms.

Charming I may have been, but I'd be the first to admit that I certainly wasn't a saint where women were concerned.

I guess I was kind of a love 'em and leave 'em type of guy. I mean, I wasn't interested in a relationship but I definitely wasn't opposed to a good make-out if the girl was willing. It wasn't like the girls didn't know what they were getting into. Everyone knew that I wasn't looking to get tied down with anyone. So, could I really be blamed for some girl who took advantage of what I had to offer and then deluded herself into thinking there could be something more between us? I didn't think so.

And then there was Makenna Grant.

I'd kind of been taking every possible opportunity to make out with Makenna in the months before we moved, even though I'd known she'd had an on again/off again thing with some other guy. I'd definitely never bothered to make sure that she and her boyfriend were off again each and every time she wanted to be with me. I knew it was a violation of the guy code to make out with some other dude's girl, but Makenna was smokin' hot and I just couldn't control myself around her.

So yeah, my past with women was a bit on the checkered side. Still, I didn't think I technically qualified as a manwhore. At least, not yet anyway, since I was still a virgin.

My intact virginity wasn't because of a lack of trying on my part to lose it. In fact, that was one reason I'd spent so much time with Makenna. Simply stated, the girl wanted me, and every time we'd been together, she'd let me go just a little bit further. In baseball terms, I'd rounded second base and was well on my way to third when I found out we were moving. If I'd had just a few more months with her, I knew that she would have eventually let me slide into home.

Was it any wonder that I didn't want to leave my old life behind?

The day my parents had sat Edward and me down to have a talk with us, I knew I wouldn't like what they had to say.

I'd thought maybe they were splitting up. It was a little hard to believe when my mom and dad seemed to still be so in love with each other. But I'd seen parents of my friends who had ended up splitting out of the blue. Usually the cause was a hot piece on the side. Had my father been playing doctor after hours with one of the nurses at the hospital?

Nah, I didn't think the old man had it in him. Besides, I knew for a fact that he couldn't keep his hands off my mom.

Believe me, it wasn't something I liked to think about. In fact, the very idea made me throw up in my mouth a little bit whenever it crossed my mind. But try as they may, my parents were never exactly successful when they tried to be quiet during sex. Yeah, I know. Totally sick, right? You'd think they'd be too old for that shit or something. Unfortunately, not so much. And I was cursed to have the bedroom next door to theirs; so, I knew that they still went at it at least a couple of times a week.

Their moans and groans were good for something though. At least they were enough of a warning system that I'd never actually walked in on them or anything. I was sure that would have scarred me for life. And Dad would probably go into debt paying for my therapy.

Then I'd had a horrifying thought. Maybe they weren't having this family meeting to tell us they were separating or getting a divorce. Maybe they were going to tell us that they were going to have another baby.

God, how embarrassing! All my friends would know that my parents went at each other like a couple of animals.

Couldn't they just act their age? You know, sleep in twin beds and never have sex and give in to the inevitable fact that they were old and dried up?

While I was unconsciously and unwillingly contemplating my parents' sex life, they had dropped the bomb on me.

Neither Mom nor Dad had had an affair. They weren't getting a divorce. And Mom wasn't preggers either. No, the truth was worse. Much, much worse. We were moving.

I had no memories of Great-Grandma Elizabeth. I knew from pictures that she'd come to visit Mom and me in the hospital when I was born. And I guess my parents had taken me to Washington to see her once or twice when I was really little, before I could remember. I almost felt like I had known her though, because of the stories Mom had told me and Edward about her.

My mother used to spend the summers with her when she was a child. She'd told us about how her grandmother had made cleaning a game for her as a little girl, planting buttons for her to find whenever she dusted a room. They had made sugar cookies together, and Great-Grandma had tons of cookie cutters in the shapes of angels, of stars, of crescent moons, of Halloween pumpkins and Christmas trees, of animals and flowers. Mom had said that her grandmother must have had hundreds of those cookie cutters, and that they'd always had so much fun together cutting out the different shapes and decorating the cookies with frosting, colored sugar, and candies. They had gone for walks in the wood and played card games or Scrabble together every evening after supper. Mom said that the best memories of her childhood were shared with Great-Grandma in that house in Washington State.

I had always loved my mother's stories about Great-Grandma Elizabeth and the large, white house in the forest. But being captivated by the description of a house in a story didn't mean I ever wanted to live there! I'd thought that Rapunzel, the Three Pigs, and the Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe all lived in cool places when I was a kid, but I'd never wanted to move in with them.

Well, maybe I had given some thought to living with Rapunzel, but it was more because I'd always kind of had a thing for chicks with long hair. Yes, I was a bit of a perv, even at age five.

That thought just depressed me all over again. I had no one here to be pervy with!

Against my will, the image of Makenna's naked breasts took over my brain. I didn't want to, but I couldn't help thinking of how her skin had felt under my fingertips. I recalled just how sweet her lips had tasted, how she had moaned into my mouth as I touched her, and I felt my mood sink to an all-time low at the same time my dick began to rise.

Dammit! In Forks, I was going to have to start all over again. I would have to go out of my way to meet girls. I hadn't had to try with girls in… Hmm… Ever, to be honest. And I wasn't viewing this as a challenge. It was more of a damned inconvenience.

I was almost fifteen, for Christ's sake! How much longer was I going to have to wallow in my virginity?

Unfortunately, I was going to have to wait a lot longer now than I would have had to if we'd stayed in Chicago. And my parents wondered why I was so cranky.

Tucked back here in the woods, cut off from civilization like I was the fucking Unabomber or something, I didn't even have a way to meet girls yet. I was probably going to have to wait until school started, and that idea totally sucked balls. I mean, I'd been here for weeks and hadn't met a single girl!

"Edward Cullen! You give that back!"

The high-pitched shriek found the base of my spine and crawled uncomfortably upward, making me shiver.

Correction: I had met one girl.

One scrawny, whiny, obnoxious, irritating little girl!

Bella Swan. Oh how did I get lucky enough to have this _lovely_ girl in my life?

Did you catch the sarcasm there? Good, because it was totally intentional.

Bella Swan was the girl next door. Not the hot, curvy, sexually adventurous kind of girl next door that stars in most guys' fantasies. But the reality version of the girl next door – all big eyes and gangly limbs, annoyingly always around whenever she was least wanted, and, of course, way too young to do anything fun with. A perv I might be, but I definitely wasn't a pedophile.

Of course one man's jailbait throwback was another man's perfect age to take advantage of. Edward was only a couple of months older than Bella. And in my opinion, she could be just the girl to give my baby brother a bit of much needed experience.

If there was something purer than driven snow, it would be Edward. As far as I knew, he'd never held hands with a girl, let alone kissed one. He'd never even shown interest in girls at all before now. I had honestly begun to worry that maybe he would pitch or catch for the other team, if you know what I mean.

But he really seemed to like Bella. Maybe more than he even realized.

So far, he didn't seem to have the slightest clue what to do with her though. Seriously, the boy was twelve! He should at least be slipping a girl the tongue by now. I most definitely had at that age. Instead, he seemed to be firmly stuck in friend mode with the Swan girl. I mean, really, what was wrong with him?

I was beginning to have significant doubts that he and I could actually be related. I was considering asking Mom and Dad if Edward were adopted. It would certainly explain so much.

"Edward! I'm not kidding! You'd better give that back right now!"

I heard pounding footfalls on the floor above me followed by what sounded like rampaging elephants coming down the stairs.

"You're going to have to catch me!" My brother called over his shoulder as he ran past me, clutching a bright pink notebook and with Bella close on his heels.

O-kay. How old were these two again? Because they were acting more like third graders on the playground instead of pre-teens whose bodies should be pumping pubescent hormones through them right now.

Still, it was classic boy who doesn't know how to let the girl know he liked her behavior. Absolutely textbook. Why didn't he just pull her pigtails while he was at it?

I rolled my eyes and huffed in frustration.

"Edward, this isn't funny! I want my notebook back now!" Bella screeched at the top of her lungs while chasing Edward down the stairs that led to the first floor.

I wasn't going to follow them. Really, I wasn't. What did I care about the pre-teen drama being played out by my brother and the brat next door?

"Edward Anthony! If you open that notebook, I swear to God, I'll _kill_ you!"

Uh oh, she'd pulled out his middle name…and the death threats. On second thought, maybe I would check out what was going on downstairs. It sounded like things were about to get juicy.

I wasn't about to race down there though. I wasn't _that _interested. Still, if Edward was going to get his ass handed to him by a girl, I kind of wanted to see it. I figured that shit could be pretty frickin' hilarious.

Taking the stairs at a leisurely pace, I followed the sounds of running feet and pissed off girl. At the bottom of the staircase, I turned to my left, walking towards our living room and what I was sure was about to become my little brother's much deserved smack down.

Bella was chasing Edward around the large, white sofa that dominated our living room. He was laughing. She was most definitely _not_. Oh yeah, baby bro was about to get his first lesson in male/female social interactions – even if you thought it was funny as hell, if _she _wasn't smiling, you better cut that shit out fast.

"Come on, Bella," Edward was saying, "I'm sure there's nothing in here that I shouldn't see." He had stopped running but was now holding a desperately reaching Bella at bay while he tried to flip open the notebook.

"Edward! Don't! Please!"

I didn't know if she'd heard my approach. Maybe I'd unknowingly cleared my throat. Or maybe she just somehow sensed my presence. But for whatever reason, Bella paused in her struggle with my brother and turned her head to look at me.

What I saw in her eyes stopped me cold. Tears. There were unshed tears welling in her eyes, threatening to spill. And the look she gave me. There was fear…no, there was true terror in her expression. But there was something else too. Pleading. I couldn't understand why, but she was looking to me for help. And even more incomprehensibly to me, I found myself wanting to help her.

I had no idea what was in that notebook. Angsty tween girl poetry? Amateurish song lyrics? A top ten list of why she loved the actor with the six-pack abs or the singer with the girly haircut? I didn't know, and I didn't care. Things had gone too far, and I needed to stop this now.

Striding over to my brother, I easily snatched the notebook from his hand and whacked him on the back of the head with it for good measure.

"Hey!" he complained as he rubbed the sore spot on his head and scowled at me. "What did you do that for, Jazz? We were just playing around."

I frowned back at him. Could he really be that stupid? Apparently so. What an idiot. "Christ, Edward. Don't be such a douche. _You_ were playing around. Bella wasn't. This isn't a game for her, and she doesn't think it's funny. Why don't you try buying a clue?"

Edward's gaze flew to Bella. She was standing absolutely still, her arms hanging limply at her sides, her eyes intent on the floor between her feet. She looked fragile, as if she could shatter into pieces at any moment. I didn't think he had seen the tears in her eyes earlier, but he'd have to be a complete moron not to see the defeat in her posture now.

In quick succession I saw shock, horror, and regret play across Edward's face. He honestly hadn't realized until this moment that Bella hadn't just been playing along. I knew my brother and understood that he would never intentionally cause someone pain, especially not her. Now that he finally got what had really been going on, he looked sick.

Bella still hadn't looked up, hadn't moved, hadn't said a word. I didn't know what to say to make her feel better. Besides, it wasn't really in my job description to do anyway, was it? I wasn't the one who'd tortured the poor girl. It was Edward's job to fix, not mine.

I tried to hand her back the notebook, but with her eyes downcast, she didn't notice the gesture. I stepped closer to her and held it out where she'd be able to see it.

After a moment, she reached out tentatively and took the notebook from my hand. Bella hugged it tightly to her chest with both arms wrapped around it, confirming for me that she had something in there that she wanted to protect.

Finally she looked up at me.

There was the gratitude I was expecting in her eyes. But there was a flash of something else too. Was that…hero-worship?

Oh _hell_ no.

I'd saved one pint-sized damsel in distress and suddenly I was supposed to be some kind of knight in shining armor? Well believe me, Lancelot I was _not_. I definitely needed to nip this in the bud. Fast.

With scorn both in my expression and my voice, I spoke to both of them but looked solely at Bella, "You know I really don't have time to babysit you two. Do you think you kids can play together nicely now? If not, maybe you should go home, Bella."

I watched her reaction.

I simply stood there and watched as that spark in Bella's eyes died.

I watched as a pain that far eclipsed the hurt that Edward's thoughtlessness had caused her took its place. And I was glad.

Of course I was glad. I'd gotten exactly what I wanted, hadn't I?

As those large, brown eyes stared unblinkingly into mine, I witnessed the deeper, sharper pain that I'd caused bring first sadness and then shame to this little girl who had done nothing to me but look at me with admiration.

I closed my eyes for an instant, trying to block out that look. And then quickly spun on my heel and left the room.

I hit the stairs running and didn't stop until I'd reached my room and shut myself inside.

I leaned back against my door and took a deep breath.

A question that I didn't know how to answer came unbidden to my mind.

If I was so happy that I'd crushed Bella's little hero-worship moment, then why did I feel like such an asshole?

* * *

So, what do you think of Jasper? Is he what you expected?

Huge thanks to DeltaSwan90, my2galspal, and Vican for all their help.

If you have any questions and/or comments about Destination Wedding, or you'd just like to come hang out, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread in the Twilighted forums - http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)?f=44&t=14195&start=0.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 3 – Readjusted Dreams

Edward moved into the room of my dreams.

I helped him.

It hurt a little to do it, but he was my friend and needed my help. I could suck it up for a friend, couldn't I? Yeah, I could, but that didn't mean it wasn't painful.

The room I'd dreamed of, the one with the white canopy bed, the delicate pink walls, and the flowered bedding? Well, there was no way it was ever going to exist like that now. A _boy _had moved in and taken over. Oh the humanity!

The bed was a dark cherry four-poster without the lacy, white canopy I'd longed for. The sheets were ivory with antique golden accents on the top sheet and the edges of the pillow cases. The antique gold comforter matched the accents on his sheets. And of course, there wasn't a flower in sight. My heart sank a little when I saw what had been done to _my_ room.

Even more disheartening was the way Edward decorated it, if you could call it that. The walls had been white when he'd gotten here and white they stayed. Now they were wallpapered with sports posters though – mostly baseball ones.

A little miffed by the way he'd unknowingly crushed my dreams; I haughtily told him my feelings about baseball – that I didn't care for it much.

He stared at me with a shocked, open-mouthed expression.

Finally, he demanded, "How can you not like baseball? It's the national pastime!"

I huffed – like my opinion was wrong or something just because it didn't agree with his? "Sorry, Edward. I just don't care for the game. I've tried to watch it. Believe me, I've tried. My dad spends half his life watching baseball on TV, so I'm kind of forced to watch too.

"I can't help it – I just find it incredibly boring. There's so much dead time, when the players aren't doing anything but running to and from the dugout or calling time out so they can discuss things. And the low scores after nine long innings? The interminable extra innings to break a low-scoring tie? I think I'd rather watch golf, and that's the most boring spectator sport ever invented!"

Edward didn't say anything. He just stood there and stared at me like I had two heads or something.

I sighed, unhappy with the way this conversation was going. I had a bad feeling that I had just driven a wedge between Edward and me. But what was I supposed to do? Lie? Tell him I loved baseball when I really didn't just to get along with him? If I did that, we wouldn't have a _true_ friendship then, would we? No, I was right to be honest with him.

Still, if I were being truthful with myself, I had to admit that I'd baited him about baseball just because I was disappointed in what he'd done to his own room. It was _his_ room now. It was never going to be mine. And I'd been kind of a witch to take that out on him. I decided it was time to get over myself and say something to smooth things over with him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I understand that you like baseball. I just don't, that's all. And I can't help that I feel that way. Can't we just agree to disagree on this or something?"

Edward blinked and then shook his head slightly as if I'd startled him out of a deep thought.

I stared at him nervously, trying to gauge his reaction. Had I just blown it? Were we not going to be friends anymore?

And then suddenly a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. Finally, he said, "It's fine, Bella. I can respect how you feel about baseball. I guess it could be boring to watch for someone who doesn't love the game."

Wow. He was giving me a pass that easily after I'd embraced my inner witch? My new friend wasn't a marshmallow, was he?

I knew I'd jumped too quickly to the wrong conclusion when he raised one eyebrow at me in challenge, "Can I ask you though…have you ever tried to actually _play_ before?"

His question surprised me.

Edward didn't know it, but he'd just pressed a huge emotional button for me.

After a few moments, I finally stuttered out, "Ummm… No… I haven't played before."

And just like that, I was blinking back tears I didn't want him to see. I lowered my gaze and swallowed hard before continuing, making sure to clear the unwanted lump in my throat.

"To be honest…my dad never showed any interest in teaching me. It was like…I wasn't the son he wanted…so he just kind of gave me over to my mom so she could teach me girly things. Don't get me wrong, Edward, I love my dad and I know he loves me, but… Well, you know."

If Edward had been a girl, I expect he would have hugged me or maybe told me how his dad treated him the same way. But Edward was a boy, so there was none of that. He wasn't even looking at me when I glanced up at him. He was busy searching through one of the still unpacked boxes on the floor at his feet instead.

I had just poured out my heart to him – just told him something I'd never told another living soul. And he was _unpacking_ while I was entrusting him with my innermost thoughts? I was more than a little hurt and angry.

Then he stood up and said, "Here, catch," before hurtling something straight at my head.

Truly, in that moment, I was seriously reconsidering this friendship of ours.

Luckily, my reflexes took over and I caught the lumpy, brown thing before it hit me in the face. Looking down, I realized that I held a baseball mitt in my hands.

Stupidly, I asked, "What's this?"

Edward chuckled, "Geez, Bella. You need more help than I thought. It's a baseball mitt. What does it look like?"

"I _know_ it's a baseball mitt…also known as a glove," I said superiorly.

"Well then, why'd you ask?"

"Forgive me. I wasn't exactly expecting you to hurl that thing straight at my face. I was having flashbacks of Marcia Brady. And thinking that nobody would ask me to the school dance when you broke my nose. I blame that for my lame question."

Edward snorted. He actually snorted at me. "A Brady Bunch reference? How old are you again?"

"The same age you are, and I must not be the only one watching Brady Bunch reruns since you knew exactly what I was talking about."

"Touché," he said, grinning at me. "But it was a football that took out Marcia, not a baseball glove."

"True, but I still bet it doesn't feel too great when you get hit right in the kisser with one," I retorted.

"Come on, Bella. I knew you would catch it. I had faith in you."

I felt an unexpected rush of warmth spread through my chest. He had faith in me? I was surprised by how good that made me feel.

I didn't let on, though. I didn't want to go all mushy girl on him – even though I was _acting_ like a mushy girl with my emotions flying around all over the place. What the heck was wrong with me today?

Mentally shrugging off the thought, I took the glove and, grasping it between my thumb and forefinger, held it out in front of me like it was something foul. "Alright, but what am I supposed to do with this thing?"

"You're supposed to put it on your hand, and when I throw this at you," he said, holding up a baseball, "you're supposed to catch it."

I looked at him in astonishment. "We're going to play catch? That's the plan?"

"No, I'm going to teach you how to play baseball. I thought we'd start with one of the basics – in order to play baseball, you have to be able to properly throw and catch the ball."

I simply stared at him. Edward was going to teach me how to play baseball? He was willing to do something my own father wouldn't? He wasn't just going to dismiss me as a girl who wouldn't understand?

That meant more to me than I could say.

"So," he said as he retrieved a second mitt from the same box, "where should we do this? There's not enough room in here. Maybe I can ask my mom to move her car out of the garage and we can play out there."

"Well, why don't we just play outside?" I asked. "I know I've never done this before, but isn't that where this kind of thing is usually done?"

Edward looked from me to the raindrop spotted window and back again – his brow furrowed like he was questioning my sanity or something. "But it's raining."

"Oh, please! It's barely sprinkling. This is Washington State, Edward. We live in the wettest spot in the continental U.S., so you're going to have to get over yourself. The sooner you realize you're not going to melt if you get a little wet, the better off you'll be. Otherwise, you're going to spend your life indoors and bored out of your mind. Come on," I prodded. "Don't be a wimp."

He flashed that crooked grin at me. "Okay. You're on."

We walked to the doorway together, but then Edward stopped to let me go ahead of him.

"After you," he said, his manner polite and not at all condescending.

This was something I was quickly learning about my new friend, he was a gentleman without being a chauvinist about it. I knew he respected me and saw me as an equal, so I didn't mind his occasional gentlemanly gestures like this one. In fact, I kind of liked them.

I waved him on ahead of me this time though. I wanted to establish firmly in his mind that his new friend may be a girl, but was also a feminist. My mother had told me that her generation hadn't burned their bras for me to think myself in any way subservient to a man. Of course, I later found out that my mother was in elementary school during the time of the Women's Lib movement, and since she'd been flat-chested at the time, she hadn't actually had a bra to burn. Still, I had taken what she had said to heart – that I could do anything and be anything I set my mind to. That's one reason why my dad's lack of interest in me had hurt so much. I knew I was every bit as good as a boy!

And Edward seemed to know it too.

I smiled to myself as I followed him down the stairs. Earlier doubts aside, I had decided once and for all that I liked having him for a best friend. Sure, he wasn't the girl friend that I'd dreamed of before, but I had a feeling that he was going to work out just fine after all.

Totally inside my own head instead of paying attention to where we were going, I ran into the back of Edward when he suddenly stopped outside a door on the second floor.

"Omph! Ow! Couldn't you try signaling next time or something, Edward?" I asked as I rubbed the sore spot in the middle of my chest where I'd knocked the wind out of myself a little.

He looked over his shoulder at me with concern in his expression. "Sorry about that, Bella. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Sure. I've accepted my lack of grace at this stage in my life."

He smiled at me. "I think you're very graceful. You know, when you're not falling over or running into stuff."

"Ha ha, Edward," I said begrudgingly. "So, why are we stopping?"

"Oh, I was just going to ask Jasper if he wanted to join us," he explained as he turned back to the door in front of us and opened it a crack.

Jasper? Crap!

Knowing that the man of my dreams might be seeing me throwing a baseball like a total spaz was not helping me catch the breath that had been knocked out of me.

I mean, I had to admit that I'd love the chance to ogle Jasper – especially athletic Jasper with his muscles all rippling.

On the other hand, though, did I really want him there to witness what I was sure would be a humiliating display on my part. Um, that would be a big NO!

Busy debating with myself over what I wanted Jasper to decide, I was startled when Edward poked his head inside the room and I heard Jasper's harsh cry, "What the fuck, Edward?"

I blinked, a little shocked at Jasper's language. I mean, I'd heard the word before of course, but I'd never before considered such an ugly word coming out of Jasper's beautiful mouth.

The hostility must have taken Edward aback too, because he stumbled over his words a bit in answering his brother. "I – I'm sorry, Jazz. I didn't mean to bother you or anything…"

"Well, you did. Haven't you ever heard of knocking?"

"I should have knocked. I know that," Edward conceded. "I just…forgot."

Jasper scoffed, "Whatever, Edward. You know you can't just barge in here whenever you want. It's an invasion of privacy. What if I'd been doing the five-finger shuffle or something?"

The five-finger shuffle? What was that? A card game?

Edward must have known what Jasper was talking about, because he said dryly, "Eww, Jasper. If that had been the case, I probably would have gone blind."

Peeking over Edward's shoulder, I saw Jasper grin slyly, "I might have gone blind too, but for an entirely different reason."

I noticed that the tops of Edward's ears were red, like he was blushing, but I had no clue why.

"Knock it off, Jazz. We just came by to ask you a question."

"Alright, little brother, shoot and then skedaddle," Jasper said as he picked up a can of Mountain Dew from his desk and then took a gulp.

"Well, Bella and I were just wondering if you'd like to join us for a three-way."

Jasper immediately started to sputter and choke. His face turned red and tears streamed from his eyes.

Edward strode into the room and began pounding him between the shoulder blades. "Are you okay?" he asked Jasper.

Jasper continued to cough but managed to get out, "No, I had Mountain Dew come out my nose, and that shit burns."

When Jasper finally was able to breathe again, he asked incredulously, "Now, _what_ did you just say?"

"Oh," Edward said, getting himself back on track now that he was no longer worried we'd have to give his brother the Heimlich, "I just asked if you'd like to join Bella and me for a three-way."

Jasper raised an eyebrow at his brother. "That's what I thought you said. But you can't possibly be talking about what I think you're talking about."

Edward held up the baseball mitt he was still holding. "I'm talking about playing catch. What did you think I was talking about?"

A delicate pink tinged Jasper's cheeks. Was it a leftover from the redness in his face when he was choking? I wasn't sure, but it definitely drew my attention to his heavenly gray eyes. I managed to stifle a dreamy, girly sigh before it slipped out, but only barely.

"What did I think you meant?" Jasper asked while appearing to be searching for an answer. "Umm… Playing catch," he finally finished lamely.

"O-kay," Edward said as if questioning his brother's intelligence. "So, do you wanna?"

Jasper shook his head. "No, I'm not really interested in a three-way with my little brother and his girlfriend. But thanks for thinking of me, bro."

"Alright, fine. Later, Jazz," Edward said as he rejoined me in the hallway.

Jasper shut the door firmly behind Edward.

Immediately we heard him laughing loudly through the door.

I had absolutely no idea what Jasper found so funny and shot a questioning glance at Edward who simply shrugged at me before turning once more toward the staircase.

Hmm… I wasn't really sure I got Jasper. So far he'd been full of surprises. I really wasn't sure I understood his sense of humor. And he was still a bit of an all-around mystery to me.

But I was more than willing to put in the time to figure him out.

~*~B~*~B~*~B~*~

I was sitting in Edward's room, keeping him company while he unpacked boxes full of books.

His mom had been on him to get the boxes out of the garage and unpack them for a couple of weeks now, but he'd been putting it off. Apparently Esme had finally put her foot down and told him he had to stop procrastinating, because he'd called and asked me to come over and distract him from the dreaded task.

It wouldn't have been so bad if Edward had just taken books out of the boxes and thrown them indiscriminately on his bookshelves. I'm sure that's what most guys our age would have done. Edward wasn't most guys though.

He had told me that he wanted to take this opportunity to really organize his books. He wanted to separate fiction from non-fiction; to separate his non-fiction books into categories and arrange them alphabetically by title within their category; and to sort the fiction into genres and organize them by country of origin and time period in which they were written.

It was a complicated system to say the least, and he'd lost me when he tried to explain it. Making things even worse, the boy had more books than most small-town branches of the public library. Okay, maybe that was exaggerating a little, but he had a ton.

I had told him on the phone that I was willing to help him. He had – probably wisely – turned me down though. He had said that sorting through everything would probably drive him a little nuts, and he didn't want to bite my head off when I accidentally stuck an American novel in his English Lit pile or something like that. Heaven knew I didn't want to come between a man and his OCD, so I agreed to just hang out.

Edward had encouraged me to bring my own book or something else to keep me occupied when he got lost in his organization process. He was a thoughtful friend and told me that he didn't want me to be bored while being there to do him a favor.

I decided to take my composition notebook with me. I had originally bought it as one of a set of notebooks for school last year but had never gotten around to using it. Over the summer I'd taken to writing short stories or the occasional poem in it. I also used it for my doodles and at times like a kind of diary. I liked to put my thoughts, feelings, and ideas down on paper. It gave me a creative and emotional outlet that just made me feel better about things.

After an hour in Edward's room, we'd finally stopped talking and joking around, and he'd become engrossed in sorting through his mountain of books. I'd written a little on the short story I was working on but quickly grew restless.

I just wasn't in the mood to concentrate on writing, so I flipped to a blank page and started doodling instead. Before long I had unconsciously begun to draw hearts with BS + JC written inside. When I got bored with that I started writing out variations of what my married name would be – Isabella Marie Cullen, Bella Cullen, Bella Swan-Cullen, Mrs. Jasper Cullen.

I was so absorbed in coming up with different variations of what name I would go by once I married Jasper that I didn't notice Edward had approached me until he pulled the notebook from my grasp.

"Whatcha writing?" he asked.

I made a grab for the notebook, but he quickly moved it out of my reach. "It's nothing, Edward. I write all kinds of things…stories, poetry, my thoughts…no big deal."

"I didn't know you were a writer, Bella. That's really cool. Could I read something you've written?" he asked as he started to open the notebook.

Okay, I'll admit I panicked. But I'd suddenly gotten this horrible premonition of him opening to the last page I'd written on and reading all those combinations of my name with his brother's. If that happened, I'd die of embarrassment on the spot, so I made another grab at the notebook as I answered him. "No! Absolutely not! Give that back to me…NOW!"

His eyes widened in surprise for a moment before his crooked grin appeared. "Hmm…you really want this badly, don't you? What will you give me for it, Bella?"

"You're holding my notebook for ransom?" I lunged at him, but he sidestepped me easily. I felt desperate hysteria rising inside of me, and I screamed at him, "Edward Cullen! You give that back!"

I lunged at him again – this time momentarily getting my hand on his wrist before he twisted out of my grip and ran. "Edward! I'm not kidding! You'd better give that back right now!" I exclaimed as I chased him out into the hallway and down the stairs.

"You're going to have to catch me!" Edward called back to me as we ran.

I couldn't believe this. He was playing games with me! This was deadly serious, and he was playing games!

"Edward, this isn't funny! I want my notebook back now!"

We were on the main level of the house now, in the Cullen's living room. Edward was keeping the sofa between us as he paused for a moment to open the notebook.

"Edward Anthony!" I shrieked in terror, "If you open that notebook, I swear to God, I'll _kill_ you!"

Edward laughed. "Come on, Bella. I'm sure there's nothing in here that I shouldn't see."

I had finally caught up to him, but he was still keeping the notebook out of my reach as he continued to try and open it. "Edward! Don't! Please!"

I didn't understand why he was doing this. I was afraid and angry and frustrated…and ashamed of the tears I couldn't keep from welling in my eyes.

Just then I caught a flicker of movement in my peripheral vision. I looked over and was startled to see Jasper leaning in the doorway. I couldn't have explained why exactly – I mean, it's not like I'd ever even really spoken to him before or anything – but I felt a surge of hope seeing him there. I knew it was corny and went against my feminist upbringing, but I had this thought in the back of my head that the man of my dreams would swoop in and save me. I blame the false advertising of fairy tales. For a moment though, I really thought that was exactly what would happen.

And then it actually seemed to be happening! I saw Jasper's expression as he apparently made up his mind to help me. He walked purposely up to Edward, retrieved my notebook, and even smacked him with it.

At least…it seemed as if he were helping me…but what if I was wrong?

What if Jasper had decided that _he_ was going to see what I was guarding so fiercely? The only thing worse than Edward seeing that I'd fancied myself as Mrs. Jasper Cullen was for Jasper to see it himself!

Feeling defeated and humiliated by what I was sure would now happen – that my secret would be revealed one way or the other – I didn't pay attention as the brothers bickered with one another. I just stood there, hoping the floor would open up and swallow me whole before Jasper was able to see what I'd written, when I suddenly became aware of my notebook being held out to me.

He was giving it back. Jasper wasn't going to taunt me with it like Edward had. He wasn't going to invade my privacy. He wasn't going to mock me for setting my sights on someone as obviously unattainable for me as he was. Despite the fact that he was still such a mystery to me, Jasper really was worthy of my love. I'd been sure of it all along.

I glanced up at him, overwhelmed with gratitude. I tried to keep my love for him out of my eyes. I didn't think he was ready for me to tell him how I felt yet. I was pretty sure that I did a good job of disguising it, but I knew in my heart that at least a little of it had to shine through. There was just too much to contain.

As I looked at him though, Jasper's expression hardened. "You know I really don't have time to babysit you two. Do you think you kids can play together nicely now? If not, maybe you should go home, Bella."

And just like that, I went from a woman in love to an ashamed, stupid little girl.

He was never going to see me as anything other than a baby. I was never going to win his heart. I was just some dumb kid with a crush, and the sooner I accepted that and moved on the happier I would be.

After all, what was one more readjusted dream?

* * *

I will _not_ be putting whose POV each chapter is in at the top. It's just a personal preference of mine. But the structure of this story will be Bella/Edward/Jasper alternating chapters. So next up, we'll be hearing from Edward again.

For those of you thinking that Edward's system for sorting his books is a little anal…umm…that's actually how I've arranged my own bookshelves.

Big thanks to Delta, my2galspal, and Vican for all their help.

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 4 – Pseudo-date

High School. I'd built it up to be such a big deal. I'd been sure that by the time I got here, I would be a man. No one would be able to treat me like a little kid, easily dismissed and ignored. Most importantly, I would finally be on equal footing with my brother. The reality?

"Out of the way, mini-Cullen! Move it, or lose it!" Peter Henderson, one of Jasper's friends, yelled at me just before slamming me into a locker.

"Geez! Watch it, Henderson!" I exclaimed as I righted myself and discretely moved my injured shoulder to assess the damage. It was just a little sore – I'd live.

This would be how my first couple of weeks of high school were going.

I was a freshman, low man on the totem pole, someone to make fun of and be pushed out of the way by upper-classmen…usually my brother or one of his stupid friends. All in all, you could safely say that it wasn't exactly shaping up the way I'd planned.

One thing was for sure, this year was definitely turning out differently than my past three years in Forks.

The thought brought a secret half-smile to my lips as the memories cascaded through my mind.

When we had first arrived I hadn't known what to expect – I'd never had to start over in a new school before. The prospect of starting over from scratch, of not knowing anyone, of most likely being stared at like I was some sort of freak admittedly made me nervous. This was such a small town. Not only did everyone know everyone already, but their parents and even their grandparents had been toddlers together.

I knew I would have been odd-man out…if it hadn't been for Bella.

She had been my salvation. I hadn't had to face that first day at Forks Middle School alone. Bella had been right beside me.

She'd shown me where my classes were and put in a good word for me with my teachers. She'd sat next to me in the classes we had together and walked with me in between classes whenever she could. She'd made sure to always save a seat for me at lunch and introduced me to the other kids.

With Bella beside me, it was almost like I wasn't "the new kid" at all.

Everything was different with Bella in my life. _I_ was different. The Edward I was with her was nothing like the Edward I'd always been before. I was happier for one thing. But that wasn't all. She gave me confidence and a sense of security that I'd never had. And that meant I was finally able to figure out who I really was.

I wasn't just Jasper Cullen's little brother anymore.

In fact, my new friends were barely even aware that I had a big brother.

For the first time everyone in my life got to know me…the real me. I wasn't just a pale imitation of Jasper.

Finally free of my need to keep up with Jazz, I realized that I didn't really like the things I'd been doing. I'd been living my life according to Jasper. Spending my time on things just because he liked them and I'd wanted to tag along, hoping he'd pay attention to me.

Bella was the one who'd made me see that.

My smile widened as I thought back to that day I'd taught her to play catch. And then felt myself blush.

Looking back now, I couldn't believe that I'd actually asked Jazz if he wanted to have a three-way with Bella and me.

Had I really been that innocent? I shook my head in disbelief.

Obviously I had been, but it was embarrassing to have to admit it.

No wonder Jasper had almost swallowed his tongue when I'd asked him that.

I chuckled to myself as I remembered how his eyes had bugged out while he choked on his soda. I guess there's nothing guaranteed more to make you shoot Mountain Dew out of your nose than thinking your little brother just propositioned you for a ménage à trois.

Of course I had to chuckle just to keep from wanting to vomit. Can you say Eww? There was no way in hell I wanted to even picture my brother naked, let alone doing anything remotely sexual in my presence.

Luckily my brain tended to shut down and reboot itself before the image of bare-assed Jazz could actually compute. Thank God.

Yeah, when I thought back to that day, I always did my best to just forget about Jasper completely. Instead I thought about Bella…throwing a baseball with me as she neatly redefined my life.

It had been awkward at first until Bella had gotten used to the mitt on her hand. She had been clumsy with it, and it took her awhile to figure out how to handle the baseball with the glove. Eventually, she started to get the hang of it though.

She hadn't been throwing the ball right either on her first few attempts.

I'd wanted to help her. Honestly, I had no other agenda. Not another thought in my head.

Not at first anyway.

I'd just wanted to show her how to throw. So, I'd stood behind her and taken her hand in mine to show her what she should do.

That's when things started to get weird.

My heart had begun to pound as I stood so close to her, my fingers wrapped around hers. I'd been so naïve. I hadn't even realized why my body was reacting that way. Then I'd caught the scent of strawberries coming off her hair. It must have been her shampoo that made her hair smell that way, but I wasn't thinking about that at the time. No, all I could think about was how much I loved that scent, how mouth-watering it was, and I leaned in to discretely breathe it in more deeply.

Yeah, I'd gone there. I'd actually smelled her hair.

I hadn't wanted to move. I just wanted to stay right there, with Bella in my arms, completely surrounding her with my body just as I was being completely surrounded by her scent.

It took several long moments before I found the strength to step away from her. Thank God, she hadn't noticed!

A little freaked out about what had just happened to me, not really understanding it, I'd quickly put some distance between us.

Striding several paces away from Bella, I turned and held my mitt out.

"Ok, let's see what you've got, Swan," I challenged with a grin.

I didn't know if I was trying to convince her or myself with my nonchalance. I wasn't sure what in the heck had just happened to me, and I definitely didn't want Bella to know about it. She might laugh.

Bella took a deep breath, stepped forward, and threw the ball. It was a little wobbly, and I had to lean to the left to catch it, but it was her best effort by far.

Her eyes widened before an adorable, excited squeal escaped her lips. "I did it! I actually did it!"

I smiled widely at her enthusiasm. "Yes, you did. Great job, Bella! Now catch," I instructed throwing the ball back to her.

Bella improved with each throw, and soon we had developed a rhythm. I couldn't seem to stop smiling. This was fun, watching her experiencing something new, being the one to teach her. I was honestly having a great time just being with her.

After a few minutes of throwing the ball back and forth, Bella said, "You know, Edward, I don't know much about this baseball thing, but you seem to be pretty good at it."

I shrugged. "I'm okay, I guess."

"Do you play a lot?" she asked me.

"Not too much. I used to play pick-up games with Jazz and his friends sometimes. When they'd let me, that is. It was usually only when they were desperate for players."

She frowned. "So you never played on an actual team?"

"I played a few of years of Little League," I told Bella as I threw the ball back to her.

"Why'd you stop?"

"Well," I answered, "I wanted to concentrate on basketball and football. Those things didn't come naturally to me, and I had to work hard just to be okay at them. I never had to work at baseball. I always just knew how to play."

Bella raised an eyebrow at me before throwing the ball back. "I'm a little confused here, Edward. You're better at baseball than those other sports? So why not just concentrate on what you're good at? Judging by the smile that's been on your face since we got here, you really enjoy this. Do you like football and basketball better?"

I smiled wryly. "Umm, no. That's not why. Honestly, I'm not a huge fan of anything but baseball. I'd rather play it than anything else."

Bella's scowl deepened. "That doesn't make any sense, Edward. If you'd rather be playing this, then why aren't you?"

Without thinking I said, "Because Jazz plays football and basketball."

I could see the challenge in her eyes. "So?"

"You lost me, Bella. So what?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "My sentiments exactly. So what! So what if your brother wants to play something else. Why does that mean you have to? You should do what makes you happy. If baseball makes you happy, then you should play."

Huh. I'd never thought of it like that before. Why? I wasn't sure. But for whatever reason, I'd needed Bella to point out something that should have been completely obvious. There were no rules saying I had to be just like my brother. It was _my _life I was living and not his.

I looked at Bella and raised one eyebrow at her in a vaguely incredulous way, "Hmm…you know, Swan…you may be right."

And then she gave me a knowing, slightly wicked grin. "Oh, Cullen…I almost always am."

Coming back to the present I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud. She'd been teasing me at the time, but she'd definitely been right.

I'd gotten back into playing baseball. Really playing, not just pick-up games. I had been the starting pitcher of the Forks Middle School team, and I had confidence that I would be on the Forks High freshman team too. I was a pretty damn good pitcher, if I did say so myself. All because this girl had challenged me to be true to myself.

Bella.

She was the best friend I'd ever had.

And there was the rub.

Bella was my friend – _just_ my friend.

Did I ever wish she was _more_ than a friend?

If I was being honest, sometimes I secretly did. I mean, Bella was beautiful, smart, funny, and extremely warm and caring. How could anyone not love her?

I just used the L-word, didn't I?

Ok, so I loved her.

And I knew that she loved me…as a friend. Damn it!

Alright, I think it had been firmly established that absolutely nothing romantic was going on between me and Bella. And I wasn't very happy about that fact.

The question was what could I do about it?

I guess I could try and cross that line with her. There were definitely times when I fantasized about telling Bella how I felt about her – or maybe just planting a kiss on her if the opportunity ever presented itself. So, why hadn't I?

Jasper, in his usual, colorful way, would have said it was because I was a huge pussy.

Unfortunately, I didn't completely disagree with him. Honestly, the idea of putting my feelings on the line with her scared the shit out of me.

No, the bottom line was this – I couldn't cross that line. Ever.

The reason was simple. I couldn't go there with Bella because I didn't want to lose her.

I wasn't one hundred percent sure of her feelings. It could be that maybe, deep down, she really did love me too, as something more than her best friend.

I certainly hoped that was the case.

But if she did, she was a pro at keeping it a secret. At least, she was a whole lot better than me.

I didn't really believe that was true though. Bella just didn't see me like that.

And I was afraid if I ever told her how I felt I would not only lose the girl I loved, but also my very best friend. She meant too much to me to ever risk losing her altogether.

So that was that.

It didn't matter how many times I couldn't help staring at her when I knew she wasn't looking. It didn't matter how often I lay awake at night wishing things between us could be different. And it certainly didn't matter how much I dreamed of her, which seemed to be every night.

Bella and I just weren't meant to be. At least, not now.

I'd be lying if I said that it didn't hurt, knowing that she might never love me the way I did her. It did. A lot. But I comforted myself with the fact that she _liked_ me so much.

I knew without a doubt that she liked me better than all the girls she was friends with. More importantly, though, I knew that she liked me better than any other boy.

That was what let me stop envisioning Bella on my bedroom ceiling and finally close my eyes each night.

She was _friendly_ with other boys of course. Bella was such a sweet girl. She would never be purposely unkind to anyone. So the boys who crowded around her were treated as good chums and nothing more. But she didn't have a deep, intimate friendship with any of them. Only me. And that made me feel like I was about ten feet tall.

She also never noticed that those same boys would have killed to have something more than just her friendship. Not that I could really blame them since I was one of their ranks in that respect, but it was definitely good for my sanity that Bella remained blissfully unaware of what they really wanted from her.

Bella still didn't seem to notice guys that way. I didn't know how long my luck on this front would hold – she had just turned fifteen after all – but as of right now I was just going to be grateful that Bella had never fallen in love with some other guy. In fact, in all the time I'd known her, she'd never even seemed to have a crush on anyone. If she had, I'm sure I would have noticed. Or at the very least, she would have told me, right? That's what best friends did.

No, I was sure that she just hadn't found a guy she wanted to be with. Which was great for me, because it gave me time. Time to try and convince her that I should be that guy. Her guy. And in the meantime, I got to be her stand-in.

_I_ was always the guy she hung out with and went to the movies with and was her date whenever she needed one. For all intents and purposes, I was her boyfriend…just without the soft kisses, the tender touches, or…

Okay, I needed to stop that train of thought right now. I was in the middle of the school day, for God's sake.

The last thing I needed was to have to hide behind books and desks and anything else I could find until little Edward decided to settle himself down.

"Edward!"

I looked around at the sound of my name, and there she was.

My Bella.

My breath caught. She was just so damned beautiful.

Bella never had been a girly girl. She was always most comfortable in jeans and a tee shirt. But damn, she filled out those jeans and tee like no other girl alive. She was still slim, but her body now curved in all the right places. Her hair fell in waves halfway down her back, framing her heart-shaped face to perfection, and I couldn't help but notice the lock that fell over her shoulder and curled provocatively against her breast.

Alright, maybe it was only provocative to me, but that curl was just about to kill me. It wasn't like I really needed a reason to focus on her breasts. I was a man after all. And looking at her was really not helping the little Edward situation.

In fact, he wasn't so little at the moment. I shifted the books in my hands into a more strategic position as she came to a stop before me.

"Hi, Bella. What's up?"

_Besides my dick, that is._

Okay, I needed to stop the inner-monologue. Thinking about my hard-on with Bella in the vicinity was only going to make things worse.

"I just wanted to make sure you were ready for tonight," she said with a more womanly version of the wicked grin she'd possessed at twelve.

"Tonight?" I asked stupidly…but in my defense I had no blood left in my brain.

"You know," she said with a twinkle in her chocolate brown eyes, "You. Me. The Homecoming Dance. You're still going with me, right?"

It took me a moment to break the spell of her eyes, but I finally managed to say, "Yeah. Sure. The dance. I wouldn't miss it." I had a horrible feeling that I was nodding like a bobble head.

There it was again, that wicked twist of her lips. Bella took a step closer to me and ran her finger lightly down my jaw, making me shiver. "Good, because I have plans to ride you hard and put you away wet."

I felt my mouth drop open in shock. Did she really just say that? "Excuse me, Bella. _What_?"

"You know…I'm finally going to use those dance moves you've been teaching me. Tonight's the night, Edward. I'm not going to back down this time."

"Right. Dance moves. Of course. Sounds like fun," I said aloud.

_But not as much fun as it would be if you actually rode me hard_, my traitorous brain thought.

I swallowed convulsively and tried to keep the lust off my face.

Holy Christ. This girl was going to be the death of me.

~*~E~*~E~*~E~*~

Getting ready for the dance that evening was a challenge, because unfortunately I had to share a bathroom with Jazz.

And if you think that two sisters battling it out for control of a bathroom would be bad, I was sure that two brothers must be worse. Or at least that was the case when the brothers in question happened to be Jasper and me.

You see, it seemed that the two of us – according to Bella, that is – spent an inordinately long time on our hair. She was always teasing me that she could have washed, dried and styled her hair ten times over in the amount of time it took just one of us.

I think that was her not-so-subtle way of saying that Jazz and I were a little high maintenance when it came to our hair, but honestly the hair situation must have been easier on Bella than it was for either of us. Her hair was long and had a natural wave to it, so she didn't do much more than dry it and brush it out. Jasper and I weren't so lucky. Yeah, Jazz had the natural waves and curls too, but the shorter length meant that he had to carefully tame his hair into a style that didn't look like a frizzed out clown's. And as for me, it took a lot of time and effort to get my hair into that nonchalant, just-outta- bed style that Bella informed me the girls called sex-hair.

So every time Jasper and I had a night out planned at the same time, the competition for the bathroom turned vicious. This was why I said that I thought brothers battling for the bathroom were worse than sisters. With brothers, there was always the threat of actual bloodshed. That wasn't the case with girls. At least, I didn't think it was. My knowledge of girls pretty much began and ended with Bella. And since she didn't have a sister, I guess this belief of mine was really more of a theory. Still, I just couldn't imagine girls being any worse than Jazz and me in that final hour before going out.

"Edward! Open this door right now! I need to get in the shower!" my brother screamed at me as he pounded on the door from the other side.

I smiled to myself in satisfaction. I'd slipped upstairs and into the bathroom when my mom had asked Jasper to take out the trash. Was it a little sneaky and underhanded? Absolutely. But when hair perfection was on the line, it was every man for himself.

"Sorry," I called out in a sing-song voice that was anything but remorseful, "Occupied."

"You're going to open up now or face the consequences," he yelled as he renewed the door pounding.

I concentrated on ignoring him as I continued shaving.

"Worse than death, Edward! I promise you worse than death if you don't open this door!"

I scoffed. Or I would have scoffed if I hadn't been worried about the razor slipping and making me bleed. "What could you possibly do to me, Jasper? I'm in here, and you're out there."

He laughed maniacally. "I'm willing to wait for revenge, little brother. You know how patient I can be when vengeance is involved."

I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. This wasn't an original threat. I'd heard it all before.

"You _will_ have to sleep sometime, Edward."

"Uh huh," I agreed carelessly. I wasn't worried.

"How would you like to wake up one morning and find yourself bald?" he asked before mimicking the buzzing sound of electric shears.

Well, I'd heard it all before…except for that.

I wrenched the door open – one side of my face still covered in shaving cream and a towel around my hips.

"You wouldn't."

He raised one eyebrow and stared unflinchingly into my eyes.

"You would."

He gave an almost imperceptible nod in acknowledgement.

"Mom would ground you for life, you know."

"Ah, Edward. It would be a small price to pay to get even, don't you think?"

I opened the door wider and let him enter.

He brushed past me with the supreme confidence of one who knew he'd just emerged the winner. Unfortunately, it was pretty much a standard Jasper pose.

"Can I at least finish shaving before you completely take over the bathroom?" I asked him grudgingly.

He stroked his chin thoughtfully as if he was taking it under advisement. "Yeah, I guess that would be okay. Although I don't know why you even bother – it's not like you really have anything to shave anyway."

I didn't dignify that with a response. I just made a kind of noncommittal noise that Jazz could take however he wanted. I wasn't going to debate the existence of my facial hair with him. I knew it was there, that was all that mattered.

He walked over to the shower, pulled open the door, and inspected inside. "You didn't whack off in here, did you? I refuse to shower with your drain babies, Edward."

Seeing a perfect opportunity to get back at him a little, I looked at him in the mirror and allowed myself a sly smile. "I'm sorry, Jasper. If you had a problem showering with my spunk, you really should have said something before now."

His head snapped up and he glared at me through narrowed eyes. "You _are_ joking, right?"

I gave him a mock-innocent stare. "Of course. I would _never _masturbate in the shower. That's the last place guys our age do that kind of thing, right?"

Jasper surprised me by laughing. When he finally spoke, there was a mocking edge to his voice. "Guys our age? You do know that some of us – and by us I mean me – don't need to spank it, Edward. I can actually get laid, fuck you very much. And do quite a lot too."

I put down my razor and splashed water over my face to remove the remaining shaving cream. "Ah yes, which one of the skanks is it this week?"

Striding back to the bathroom counter, he picked up his toothbrush in one hand and the toothpaste in the other. "I'm going out with Lucy tonight. And there's no need to call my girls names just because you're jealous."

I stared at him incredulously. "Jealous? Please. You have meaningless sex with a rotation of girls you don't even care about. That's not what I want in my life, Jasper."

He removed the toothbrush from his mouth and spit out toothpaste in the sink. "And exactly who is your date for the night, baby brother?" he asked in a nasty, knowing tone. "No, wait. Don't tell me. Bella, right? That girl whose panties you would kill to get into. But you don't have a chance in hell of ever going there, do you?"

I didn't answer him. I couldn't.

I felt like Jasper had just punched me in the stomach. All the air had left my lungs, and I felt sick.

I had never told him about my feelings for Bella, so how did he know?

Was I really that obvious?

This was what I'd always worried about. It was actually my biggest fear. That everyone, especially Bella, could read me so easily.

Did Bella know?

Was she laughing at me?

Or feeling sorry for me?

I wasn't sure which of those options would be worse.

I pushed myself away from the counter, desperate to get out of there, to put as much distance between him and me as possible. "You're wrong, Jazz. You don't know what you're talking about," I forced out through numb lips before turning and making my way to the door.

As I left the bathroom and walked down the hall, I heard Jasper's mocking voice following me. "Whatever you say, Edward. Have fun on your pseudo-date."

* * *

Sorry for the long hiatus! I'm afraid real life happened in a big way over the summer. But I'm back now, happy to be writing again!

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 for her beta expertise and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 5 – Growing Pains

Shit.

Why did I do this?

I didn't want to be this way. This wasn't what I wanted.

So why couldn't I seem to help myself?

I _knew_ I shouldn't have pushed Edward's buttons like that.

I mean, I knew it had been stupid and childish. I understood that. I had actually done some growing up in the last few years.

I scoffed at that thought. Yeah, that entire fiasco with Edward had just proven exactly how mature I'd become, huh?

I placed my toothbrush back into the holder on the counter and looked up at my reflection. Almost as quickly as I found my eyes in the mirror though, I shut them tightly. Maybe if I didn't have to see the guilt on my face, I could just pretend I didn't feel it.

Fuck!

I loved my brother. I really did.

It was something I'd slowly come to realize in the last couple of years. Now that he had his own life and wasn't constantly in my hair anymore, I had figured out that he wasn't really the pain in my ass that I'd always thought him to be.

Well, he wasn't _just _a pain in my ass anyway.

I'd figured out that he actually meant something to me. He was my brother, and that should count for something. It did. It counted. So why did I always drive him away?

Disgusted with myself, I turned my back to the mirror. I strode over to the shower, opened the door, and turned on the water. As it began to heat up, I stripped off my clothes mechanically, my mind preoccupied.

It was ironic, I guess. It took Edward pulling away from me for me to finally begin to appreciate him being around.

Bella had taken him away from me.

And I was glad that she had. Truly I was.

Their friendship had allowed my brother the courage to step out of my shadow and find his own way.

Since we'd moved here to Forks, since he'd met her, Edward had grown so much. He wasn't the little kid who'd worshipped the ground I'd walked on anymore.

He had his own friends. He had his own successes. He had grown into his own man.

A man. My little brother.

I shook my head. It was just so hard for me to believe, but it was true. Yes, he was still very young and had a lot still to learn, but he seemed to be on the right path.

Suddenly noticing that steam had begun to swirl around me, I once again reached my hand into the shower to test the temperature of the water. It was extra hot, just the way I liked, and I eagerly stepped into the enclosed space and under the spray.

I let the water wash over me, wetting my hair. I ran my fingers through it, pushing the damp curls out of my eyes. The heat from the water ran over my shoulders and the back of my neck, easing the tension there. And for a moment I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. All too soon though, my thoughts drifted back to my brother.

I knew he was happy now. I could see it. Everyone could. So why couldn't I just leave him the fuck alone and let him be happy? Why did I have to be such a prick to him?

I sighed. I knew the answer. Well, _answers_ really. It was a lot of things.

To tell the truth, I was jealous.

Edward had been mine. Not that I'd wanted him. But still, he had belonged to me. I was the one he looked up to. I was the one he wanted to be like. I was the one who he wanted to spend his time with. It had been all about me. And although it made me incredibly shallow, I had to admit I'd liked that.

As much as I'd complained about Edward always trailing after me, as much as I'd wished he would just leave me alone, now that he had? I missed him.

I wasn't his favorite person in the world anymore. I wasn't his hero. And I had been surprised to find out how much that actually hurt.

Now his world revolved around Bella. He wanted to spend all of his time with her, not me. He asked for her advice, not mine. It was her opinion that mattered most to him. He didn't even know me anymore. I didn't think he even wanted to…and that hurt too.

When he'd accused me of having sex with girls I didn't even care about…well, I just kind of snapped. That's what my little brother thought of me? That I was just some kind of user? I wasn't. Not at all.

I still wasn't a one woman kind of guy. I didn't know if I ever would be. For me, sex wasn't about love. It was about getting off, plain and simple. But that didn't mean that I didn't care about the girls I was with. Some would call them fuck buddies. I preferred friends with benefits. That's what they were – my friends – and I really did care about them.

Not that there were _that_ many. I wasn't a total manwhore. There had been four. I was a red-blooded, eighteen-year-old guy who'd only been with four girls.

That wasn't bad, was it?

I'd lost my virginity not long after we'd moved here, just a couple of months into my freshman year. It seemed I'd been worried unnecessarily when I didn't think I'd be able to find a willing girl in this dinky town.

I chuckled humorlessly to myself. Willing. Well, she certainly had been that.

Jane Carey had been my first. And she was…

I think "sexually confident" would be the p. c. term. If I said to hell with political correctness? I would say "scary dominatrix" would be a better description.

Jane knew what she wanted and exactly how to get it. Shortly after we'd met, she'd made it clear to me that she liked to fuck – her term, not mine – and that she'd decided she wanted me. And even though I'd heard the stories about her, I'd gone through with it.

As firsts go, I guess it wasn't bad. At least Jane hadn't brought out the whips, chains, and handcuffs, which those in the know claimed were not outside her realm of possibilities.

She'd known I was a virgin before she got me into bed though, so maybe she'd just been trying to break me in gently. Or gently for Jane anyway. She'd been more than a little bossy and demanding, but I had popped my cherry and I'd come, so I didn't have too many complaints. Still, once with Jane was more than enough for me. I never went back for seconds.

But then I'd met Lucy. And Annette. And Maria. I'd become friends with them all, one by one.

And now?

Well, I hung out with them. I dated them casually. And yes, I slept with each of them.

Let me be clear. Nobody was getting hurt here. The girls all knew about one another. None of them wanted to be my girlfriend. There were no petty jealousies or hurt feelings. And I always used condoms, so there wouldn't be any STDs or unwanted kids to deal with. We were all in this situation with our eyes wide open and were happy with the way things were. So what was wrong with that?

Thinking about Edward calling the girls skanks, about him sitting in judgment on them and on me, I got angry with him all over again.

What gave him the right to judge? He was a virgin who knew nothing about real life relationships. He wanted to wait for sex until true love came along or something? Yeah, that was a great ideal to have. But in reality, most people seemed to have my kind of relationships, not his.

And he didn't really have any moral high ground anyway. Did he think I didn't see the way he lusted after Bella?

I'd seen the looks. The way he always stood so close to her. Not to mention the pathetic attempts to hide exactly what was going on in his pants whenever she was around.

No, my brother talked a good game, but I knew if Bella gave him the slightest hint that she'd rock his world for him, he'd have forgotten all about his ideals. He wasn't really any better than me. And it burned my ass that he acted like he was.

So I was jealous, and resentful, and angry. It wasn't a good combination.

Then throw into the mix that I wanted out. Out of this town. Out of this house. Out of this life.

I was tired of being treated like a child. I wasn't a child. I was a man, and I couldn't wait to be out on my own. Making my own decisions. My own mistakes.

I didn't mean that my parents were unreasonable. They weren't. Not by a longshot. They were actually good, loving parents who just wanted the best for Edward and me. But I was chafing under their rules. Sometimes I felt like I was being suffocated – that I was drowning under the weight of the roles I was expected to play – the perfect son, the older brother.

I felt like my temper was constantly on edge – like I was always on the verge of a blow-up – and dealing with Edward could push me over quicker than anything else.

He was a safe target. At this point nobody expected us to get along, so it was easier to take my frustrations out on him than on my parents.

It wasn't fair. I knew it. But that's the way things were, and I couldn't seem to change them.

Sighing, I tipped my head back under the spray and rinsed the shampoo from my hair. I'd been in the shower too long, and the water was beginning to cool.

Pausing in my thoughts, which weren't really getting me anywhere anyway, I picked up the soap, washed and rinsed myself quickly, and turned off the water before it got too cold.

Then stepping carefully out of the shower, I grabbed a towel and dried off, sparing no thought for what my hands did automatically, before wrapping the now damp towel around myself and securing it at my waist.

Moving back to the bathroom counter, I took my hand and rubbed the condensation from the mirror until I could see my face again. It was still there. The shame. The guilt. I could still see it in my eyes.

I knew it wasn't going to go away. Not until I did something about it. Yeah, it might be just a temporary, quick-fix for a complicated problem. I wouldn't really be solving anything. Edward would be back on my last nerve in no time, and I'd be a dick to him all over again. But for now, I could do something to make amends a little. It was the least I could do.

Walking over to the bathroom door, I threw it open and poked my head into the hallway. It was empty. My brother was nowhere in sight.

"Hey, Edward!" I called.

"What do you want, Jasper?" he yelled back, his voice coming down from his bedroom.

Great, he still sounded pissed at me.

"Could you come here?"

There was no answer.

"Please?" I tacked on as an afterthought.

I heard him before I saw him, of course, as he came thundering down the stairs and into the second-floor hallway.

"What, Jasper? What?" Edward asked in an exasperated tone. He had gotten dressed and was wearing black pants, a dark green dress shirt and a matching tie, but his feet were still bare. His hair was half-dry and was completely messed up…and not in the stylish way it usually was. This was jacked-up hair and not sex-hair. If he didn't do some major damage control soon, it was going to be a totally lost cause.

I cleared my throat, not knowing exactly what to say now that he was standing in front me. "So…" I began uncomfortably.

"So?" he asked, still obviously hostile.

He wasn't going to make this easy on me, was he? "Well…I'm out of the shower…"

When I didn't continue, Edward just gave me a look that said, "Obviously," in a totally snide way without him having to even open his mouth.

"I think I'll go get dressed now," I said lamely. I was completely dying here.

"I'll alert the media," Edward said in a tone as dry as dust.

I almost smiled, but I valiantly kept my lips from even twitching. When had my brother become such a smart-ass?

"So, you can have the bathroom back…if you want."

He changed before my eyes. His rigid, pissed-as-hell posture just sort of melted, and his entire body relaxed. His expression was tentative though, as if he wasn't sure he should really believe I was being nice to him or something…which of course made me feel like an asshole all over again.

"Are you serious, Jazz?"

I looked down, not really wanting him to see me being all humble and shit. "Yeah, I'm serious. As long as you don't lock me out again. I figured you could work on your hair while I go put on some clothes, and then when I get back we could share the bathroom for once. You know, like we're actually supposed to."

I glanced at him then and saw that he was smiling at me.

"Sure, Jazz. We can do that. As long as you don't try and asphyxiate me with that cologne you wear."

I gave him a mock-offended look. "That's not cologne, Edward. It's aftershave."

"Well, whatever you call it, it reeks."

"Yeah, yeah. And that stuff you spray in your hair stinks worse, so I wouldn't be throwing stones if I were you."

"Tell yourself whatever makes you feel better, big brother." Edward grinned as he brushed by me and walked into the bathroom.

I smiled to myself, happy with the way things had turned out, and started down the hall to my room.

"Oh and Jasper," Edward stopped me before I closed my door.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

~*~J~*~J~*~J~*~

A little over an hour later, I was standing on Lucy's doorstep, waiting for her to open the door. It had been forever since I'd rang the doorbell. At least, it felt like it had been that long.

Impatiently I started pacing on her front porch.

Damn it! Where was that girl? She knew I hated to be kept waiting like this.

I had my back turned to the door when I heard it finally open.

"Jasper."

Lucy's voice was honeyed sex, and my dick started to harden before I'd even turned around.

There she was framed in the doorway, wearing barely there shorts and a skimpy, white tank top. Her long, blonde hair was pulled back in a neat little ponytail that made me want to take it down and thoroughly muss it.

I gave her a wicked grin before I closed the distance between us.

"So," I said, crowding her body with mine until she was forced to step backwards into her foyer, "I guess this means we're not going to the dance?"

"You don't mind, do you?" she asked knowing damn well I didn't.

I closed the door firmly behind me and now it was Lucy's turn to invade my personal space. Not that I had any complaints.

Standing on her tiptoes, she wound her arms around my neck, her fingers finding their way into my hair. With the slightest pressure of her fingers, she let me know that she wanted me to kiss her, but instead I lowered my head until my lips were just a whisper away from hers and then stopped.

"Luce," I said against her mouth, "I was really looking forward to going out tonight. So if you want to stay in, you really need to make it up to me."

It was total bullshit, of course, and we both knew it. But before she could call me on it, I kissed her hard.

I heard a sound like a whimper escape from her as I plundered her mouth, enjoying the way she pressed herself even closer to me as her tongue danced with mine.

My arms tightened their hold on her, my hands exploring her back before sliding lower to grasp her ass. I pulled her up against me and let her feel exactly what she was doing to me.

Unexpectedly, she broke the kiss and pushed herself away from me.

I was on the verge of protesting when I felt her hand cupping my erection and damn, it felt good.

"Well, Mr. Cullen," she said, popping the button on my pants and then unzipping me, "I'll just have to see what I can do to make you feel better about the whole staying in thing."

Lucy dropped to her knees in front of me, taking my pants with her on the way down and freeing my cock.

She looked up at me from under her lashes and licked her lips, and I felt my entire body flush with desire. God, I wanted this. I wanted her mouth on me right the fuck now! And just when I thought I couldn't take the waiting for another moment, she opened her lips and slipped my cock between them.

I leaned back against the door as my eyes rolled back in my head. "Fuck! I love it when you do that, Lucy."

She moaned low in her throat as she slid her mouth slowly down my shaft and back up again, letting me know she enjoyed giving almost as much as I enjoyed the receiving. Shit, that was hot.

I let myself get lost in what she was doing to me, concentrating on how she used her lips and teeth and tongue to bring me pleasure.

I couldn't suppress a groan as she sucked at the head of my cock while her hand tugged gently at my balls. I felt my cock harden even more and knew I needed to stop this now if I didn't want to finish off in her mouth.

Reaching down, I pulled her off me. I brought her up until she was standing before me again. Then I kissed her, my tongue thrusting into her mouth like my dick was dying to do to her pussy before my mouth left hers to nip and kiss at her jaw and down her throat.

Grabbing the hem of her shirt, I pulled it up and off her in one fluid movement. She was bare underneath, and I silently thanked the guy – because of course it had to have been a guy – who had first designed tank tops with built in bras.

I took a moment just to look. Her breasts were soft, round perfection…not too small or too big, but the perfect handful that guys always dreamed of. Her nipples were pale pink and the combination of the cool air and the fixation of my stare were causing them to pucker and harden.

I couldn't wait another second, so I dipped my head and ran my tongue lightly over one nipple while my hand came up to gently rub the other one. I felt Lucy's nipples harden further against my tongue and the palm of my hand, and it was such a fucking turn on. I suckled at her breast while my fingers plucked at her nipple, eliciting a delicious moan from Lucy that went straight to my cock. God, I wanted her.

I moved my head to her other nipple, the one I'd just been fondling, and sucked the hard nub into my mouth. I let my hand slide down her side and rest at her hip. Then as my other hand came to rest on the other side, I hooked my fingers into her shorts, making sure to also snag her panties, and tugged them both away from her hips and down her legs. Soon gravity took over and they pooled at her feet just where I'd wanted them.

I ran one of my hands up the inside of Lucy's thighs, heading for the promised land. She widened her stance, obviously wanting me there too.

"Good girl," I said huskily against her chest. She gasped as she felt the cool rush of my breath against her wet nipple. I smiled wickedly. I loved making her want me.

My fingers had reached her folds, and I slid them through the slickness I found there. "Mmm, you're so wet for me, Luce."

She was straining against my hand. I knew exactly where she wanted me, but I wasn't prepared to let her have me. Not quite yet.

"God, Jazz. Please!" she asked with an edge of desperation.

"What is it, baby?" I asked, wanting to hear her say it. "What do you want?"

"Fuck me with your fingers. Please. I need to feel you inside."

I groaned as I slid first one and then two fingers inside her. I began pumping them in and out of her slowly, loving the mewling sounds coming from her throat.

I kissed the side of her neck before snaking my tongue out and tasting her salty skin. I let the heel of my hand rub gently against the bundle of nerves at the top of her slit and was rewarded as her sounds grew louder. I knew she was close, so I dragged my lips up her throat, nipping and sucking lightly along the way, until they were resting against her ear.

"You're close, aren't you baby?" I said softly into her ear.

She moaned loudly. "Oh, God. Yes, Jazz, I'm so close. Please don't stop."

"I'm not going to stop," I promised her, curling my fingers slightly inside her and fucking her with them faster. "Lucy?"

She licked her lips before she could answer me. "Yes?"

"I want you to come for me. Right. Now."

Immediately she cried out, and I felt her pussy clenching around my fingers. I loved that she could do that…come on command. All I had to do was get her on the verge, and then I could push her over the edge with just my words, the sound of my voice, and the feel of my breath on her ear. Lucy was special like that.

As I felt her shudder against me, I knew I needed to be inside her. Grasping her ass, I lifted her up, and understanding what I wanted her to do, she wrapped her legs around my hips. I turned around and bracing her against the door, drove my cock into her.

I moaned as I slipped inside. I didn't move right away. I just stayed still, relishing the feeling of her pussy around my cock. But it wasn't long before my body demanded that I start to move.

I thrust into her slowly at first. But there had been too much teasing and licking and sucking beforehand, and now I was fucking Lucy up against a door for Christ's sakes! Soon I was pounding into her and dying to come.

I wanted Lucy to come one more time first though, so I reached between us and stroked her clit with my thumb.

"Oh, Jasper! Oh, God! Yes! Yes! Yes!" And I felt Lucy pulsing around my cock.

I let myself go then and thrust hard into her as I came.

We were still for a minute, nothing between us but the heaviness of our breathing, when all of a sudden Lucy laughed. I pulled back and looked at her.

"Well, that was interesting," she said.

"What?" I asked.

"Up against the door wasn't in my plans for the night."

I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Not that I'm complaining! That was…" Apparently words failed her for the moment because she just hummed.

And then she continued, "But I had been actually planning to make it to my bed with you."

I smiled at her. I really did like this girl. I nuzzled her lips with mine before pressing a kiss on her mouth. "Well, you know, the night is still young."

~*~J~*~J~*~J~*~

Later…much, much later…we lay together in Lucy's bed. I had pulled the sheet up to our waists. I was lying on my back, and Lucy lay on her side, her head on my shoulder, her arm draped across my chest.

"Where are your parents this time?" I asked her gently, bringing her hand to my lips and pressing a kiss into her palm to help take the sting out of the question.

"Portland. They decided they needed a long weekend away." She laughed bitterly, "Away from what exactly? It can't be the house; they're never here. We both know how much they both live and breathe their careers, so it's not work. So what are they getting away from? Me, obviously."

I felt moisture on my shoulder and knew that there were tears in her eyes. "Hey," I told her, "you know that's not true."

"It is," she insisted. "I just… I don't know, Jasper. I guess I just wish I knew why. What did I do to make them hate me so much?"

"They don't hate you, Luce." She looked up at me, the skepticism clearly written in her expression. "They don't know you." I know it wasn't very comforting, but we both knew it was the truth.

Lucy's parents weren't overtly abusive. They had never hit her. They didn't say awful things to her or call her names. Sometimes I think Lucy secretly wished that they would, because at least that way they would have to actually acknowledge her existence. No the abuse wasn't physical or verbal. Instead it was neglectful. Oh they fed and clothed her and made sure Lucy had nice things. But the simple truth was they wanted her quiet and out of their way. They didn't spend time with her or talk to her. They never praised her or paid any attention to her at all. It was like they had a kid because they thought they should but hadn't really wanted her.

"I wish I could stay with you," I told her sincerely. I hated thinking of her all alone in this house with nothing to do but dwell on why her parents ignored her.

Her arm tightened around me. "It's okay. I know you have to go home."

The small sound to her voice made me want to kill her parents. They really were assholes to treat her the way they did.

"Can I stay a little longer?" I asked her. "I could call my mom in a bit and tell her we went out with friends after the dance or something."

She gave me a wobbly smile. "I'd like that."

I put both arms around her, and she snuggled into my embrace. "Jasper?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for being my friend."

I pressed a kiss to her forehead. "You're welcome, Luce," I said, giving her a gentle squeeze. "Thank you for being mine."

* * *

Did this glimpse into Jasper's life surprise you? I know some of you weren't very happy with Jazz after the last chapter. I hope this shows you guys that there's more to him than you might have been expecting.

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 6 – Homecoming

I squirmed in my seat, already stiff and uncomfortable. "How much longer?" I asked.

"We're about halfway done," Angela said, winding another lock of my hair around the hot curling iron. "Bella, you'd better stay still or I'm going to end up burning you."

"Halfway? Seriously? I've been sitting here for hours," I whined.

Angela let out a long-suffering sigh. "It's only been about twenty minutes. And I'm sorry, Bella, but you have a lot of hair to curl. It takes a while."

Crap!

I felt ashamed of myself for griping at her. It wasn't her fault I had no patience when it came to this girly stuff. She was doing me a favor helping me get ready for Homecoming. I just needed to shut up and make her job as easy for her as possible.

"Sorry, Ang. I won't move," I promised.

"And the whining?" she asked teasingly.

"Well, I'll do my best, but I make no guarantees," I quipped, grinning at her in the mirror.

Angela threw her head back and laughed out loud. Luckily she'd released the lock of hair she'd been working on and didn't have the curling iron in my hair at the time.

This was what I liked about Angela though. She lived life with such joy. I was just sorry that more people didn't know that about her.

I hadn't known. Even though I'd technically known her since kindergarten, Angela had always been extremely shy. I couldn't even remember her uttering a word in school until the fourth grade. So even though I'd always wished we could be friends, we'd never gotten a chance to develop our acquaintance into a friendship until we'd been thrown together in our freshman English class.

Our English teacher, Mr. Barrett, had given us _Wuthering Heights_ as our first reading assignment of the year and broken us into small groups of three to discuss the novel after we'd finished reading it. I had immediately teamed up with Edward, of course, but we'd needed a third. And while everyone else was rushing around and grabbing their friends to make up their groups, I had noticed Angela standing off to the side looking extremely uncomfortable and out-of-place.

I looked at Edward, catching his eye, and then shifted my gaze to Angela. He immediately knew what I was thinking and readily nodded his head in agreement.

"Hey, Angela!" I called over to her.

When she looked my way I waved her over.

Once she was standing in front of me, uncertainty clearly written in her expression, I smiled at her and asked, "Why don't you join us? Edward and I need another partner."

I could see the relief in her eyes as she exhaled a breath she'd obviously been holding. "Thanks, you guys. That would be great," she said, returning my smile**.**

I helped Edward scoot three desks into an intimate triangle for our discussion and soon we were going through the book together.

Angela and I had both been swept up by the novel. We loved it. Edward…most definitely did _not_.

After Angela and I had gushed about how much we enjoyed the love story, Edward sat staring back and forth between us and looking at us like we were slightly unhinged.

"What, Edward? What is it?" I asked curiously.

"I just don't understand why you actually like this book," he said. "The characters are ghastly people who ruin each others' lives. I don't know how Heathcliff and Cathy end up being ranked with couples like Romeo and Juliet or Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy. It isn't a love story, it's a hate story."

Angela and I frowned at each other before I looked back to Edward and snapped, "You have some serious issues with the classics."

He put up his hands in a gesture of surrender. "Honestly, Bella, I'm just trying to understand. What is it that appeals to you?" he asked earnestly.

"I'm not sure," I answered, looking at Angela to see if she wanted to jump in and help me out. When she just shrugged, I struggled with words to explain. "I think it's something about the inevitability. How nothing can keep them apart – not her selfishness, or his evil, or even death, in the end."

I could tell he was considering my answer carefully. "I still think it would be a better story if either of them had one redeeming quality," he countered.

"I think that may be the point, Edward," I told him. "Their love _is_ their only redeeming quality."

"What do you think, Angela?" Edward wanted to know. "Do you agree with Bella?"

"Yeah, I do," she agreed. "And then there's…"

Angela stopped talking abruptly and quickly clamped her lips tightly shut as if she were trying to lock away her words before they completely escaped. She looked down at her desk and blushed furiously.

Edward looked at me curiously, but now it was my turn to shrug.

"There's what, Angela? Please go on," Edward requested.

If it were possible, Angela's face became even redder. She just sat there silently for a while. But just when I thought she wasn't going to answer him, she said. "Well, it's just… You know… Heathcliff is kind of hot."

The expression on Edward's face was priceless. I had to stifle a giggle as his mouth hung open for a moment or two. "Hot?" he finally asked, stunned. "You think Heathcliff is hot? Heathcliff? He's… Well, he's a brute for most of the book."

Angela was still blushing but now she smiled slyly. "Exactly, Edward. Totally hot." She raised her hand and started fanning her face.

Edward looked at me like he still didn't get it.

"It's a bad boy thing," I explained simply.

He sat back in his chair and seemed to be weighing our words. "Bella, do you feel the same way? You know, about Heathcliff?"

Now I felt a blush spreading across my own cheeks. The truth was that the Heathcliff in my imagination wasn't the dark gypsy that Emily Brontë had described. No, my Heathcliff – the one that played out the love story to my Cathy while I read – was tall with an athletic build, blond curls, and grey eyes. Jasper. How could I tell Edward that I had fantasized about Heathcliff that way, but in the guise of his brother? Yeah, that wasn't happening.

After weighing exactly what I could and could not admit to Edward, I finally hedged, "I don't know. Heathcliff is intense. And that's just…"

"Sexy," Angela finished for me.

Edward stared incredulously at first Angela and then at me. "Intense?" he finally asked me. "So that's what girls want? Someone who devastates and destroys everyone around them?"

"No. That's not what I'm saying," I sighed. How did I explain this to him? "Girls dream about someone powerful and compelling and passionate. Someone like Heathcliff who would throw his entire being into loving them. They want someone who wouldn't even let death be the end to their love story. That's what girls want."

My eyes met Edward's and held.

And for a moment I was completely frozen.

I couldn't look away. I couldn't even blink.

There it was. There in his eyes. All that intensity that I'd just been talking about.

Inexplicably, I felt my stomach do a flip.

And just like that, it was gone. He was the one who looked away from me, focusing on Angela instead.

"You do know that a guy doesn't have to be a bad boy to love like that, right?" He directed the question to her and not to me.

I didn't hear Angela's answer. Honestly, I couldn't concentrate on anything but the unfathomable moment Edward and I had just shared.

I felt confused, off-balance. I shook my head slightly, trying to clear it.

I didn't understand what had just happened.

I couldn't have just seen what I thought I had. I must have just let my imagination run away with me for a moment. I must have read something into Edward's expression that hadn't really been there.

I had had Heathcliff on the brain. That had to be it. I'd been talking about all that white-hot intensity and must have just imagined that I saw it reflected back at me in Edward's eyes. He was my best friend. He didn't think about me that way.

No, I'd just let myself get carried away by the discussion. That was all it had been.

"Bella!"

I started as Angela's voice broke into my thoughts. "What?"

Looking up into her exasperated expression I realized this probably wasn't the first time she'd said my name.

"Sorry, Ang," I apologized. "I guess I let my mind wander a bit."

"A bit?" she asked dubiously. "I've been practically screaming in your ear for at least a minute. Wherever you were, it definitely wasn't here."

"Sorry," I said again sheepishly.

She smiled at me. "It's fine. It was kind of interesting watching your face. I don't know what you were thinking about, but that was a lot of different emotions in a very short amount of time. Do you need to talk about something?"

I felt my heart clench in my chest with panic.

_No! _That single word of denial reverberated through my mind.

I couldn't! It was impossible. I just couldn't tell Angela what I'd been thinking.

Well, I could. I mean, I was physically capable of speech and all…even though it didn't seem likely that I'd be able to force words past my suddenly tight throat. Actually the truth was that I didn't _want_ to tell Angela.

Of course Edward couldn't possibly have those kinds of feelings for me. And telling Angela what I'd imagined seeing in that moment with Edward – saying the words out loud – would just make me sound like an idiot.

"No, Ang. Thanks for the offer. But I really was just daydreaming."

"Okay," she said dubiously, the tone of her voice making it clear that she didn't quite believe me. "I'm here if you ever need a friend though. You know that, right?"

She really had become a good friend. Next to Edward, she was the best friend I had.

Edward would always come first, of course, but it was different being friends with Angela. It was nice to have a girl to share things with. But I couldn't share this with her. There really wasn't anything to share, was there?

I smiled at her, hoping it would reassure her that I was fine. "Yeah, I know. Thanks again."

I could tell that she wished I would confide in her, but thankfully Angela let it drop. "Well, I think it's about time for the big reveal. Are you ready for this, Bella?" she asked as she turned me toward the large mirror above my dresser.

For a second I just stared at the girl in the mirror.

_That_ was me?

And it was me.

Angela had gone light with the makeup, so it didn't look like it had been spackled on. But she had managed to artfully play up my eyes, my cheeks and my lips without overdoing it. My hair was curled in gentle waves over my shoulders and down my back, the sides pulled up and secured with jeweled clips. It really was me, but the best me possible.

"Oh my God, Ang. I love it! Thank you." I gave her a quick but heartfelt hug…and I might have squealed a little bit too.

She laughed at my enthusiastic embrace. "You're welcome, sweetie. Edward won't know what hit him when he sees you tonight."

And just like a balloon the day after the party, I felt myself deflate.

I stepped away from Angela, putting needed physical and emotional distance between us. "You know we're just friends, Angela," I said firmly and a little coldly. "Edward won't even notice how I look."

She arched an eyebrow at me. "Are you sure about that, Bella?"

I bristled. The last thing I needed was Angela poking around the edges of something I didn't even want to look at too closely myself. Edward and I were friends. We'd always been friends. Only friends. And if we weren't, I didn't know how my world would work.

"I'm very sure," I answered decidedly. "Edward is a friend. That's all. Okay?"

She nodded. "Alright then. Just friends." She grinned at me. "I think you're wrong about him though."

I swallowed nervously. Had Angela somehow read my mind?

"He'll most definitely notice how gorgeous you look."

I let out a relieved breath and rolled my eyes at her. "Yeah…sure…right," I said sarcastically.

"Hey, whether or not he's just a friend, at least you have a cute date. You should be grateful," Angela mock-scolded, "you could be stuck with someone like Eric Yorkie the way I am."

Seeing the comic way her face screwed up at the thought of dating Eric, I couldn't help but laugh. "Sorry, Ang," I apologized. "I really shouldn't find humor in your suffering."

"It's okay, Bella. When I think about slow-dancing with a kid named after a yappy dog, I want to laugh too…if just to keep myself from crying," she joked.

"Why are you going with Eric anyway?" I asked. I knew she could do so much better than the tall, gawky A.V. nerd with greasy hair and bad skin.

Her good-natured grin faded a little and she sighed. "Because he was the only one to ask me. Why else?"

"Oh, Angela," I said, slipping my arm around her shoulders and giving her a sympathetic half-squeeze. "It's just because you don't let guys get to know you. If you were a little less shy…"

"I know. Believe me, I know. But it's just so difficult for me, Bella. I want to be more outgoing, really. I just don't seem to know how though."

"Maybe you shouldn't try so hard. Take baby steps. Start out by just being friendly with a guy. Maybe try a little conversation. You don't have to worry about saying anything too deep or profound. Keep it light at first."

Angela took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I'll try. I may suck at it, but I promise to try."

~*~B~*~B~*~B~*~

It was a typical high school dance. Even with the dim lighting and decorations, all I could see was the same cafeteria we ate lunch in every day. Who did they think they were fooling, anyway?

The middle of the room had been cleared to make a space big enough for us to dance in and there were large, round tables with chairs set up around the edges of the dance floor. At the front of the room, a D.J. had set up an area to work from complete with lighting that sent nauseating swirls of white illumination through the dimness.

The overall effect was like a middle-aged woman in too much makeup and tight clothes desperately trying to convince everyone that she could transform into the young, beautiful girl that she'd probably never even been in the first place – pathetic, sad, and depressing.

By unspoken agreement, however, it seemed that we weren't supposed to notice. Groups of friends were laughing raucously at some of the tables. Couples were dancing together, while others stood together at the fringes of the floor, yelling into one another's ears to be heard over the din of voices and loud music.

Angela looked warily over her shoulder as Eric led her further into the room. I could see the "help me!" look in her eyes. I gave her a sympathetic glance and felt Edward's fingers tighten around mine. I knew we were all thinking the same thing…this was not exactly our idea of a good time. Still, I was willing to make the best of things. We could talk and laugh and dance like everyone else. As long as we were together, we could salvage this night.

We found an empty table further away from the dance floor. Eric wasn't exactly happy being so far from the center of things, but he made up for it by dragging Angela away to dance the moment she'd set her purse down on the table.

Edward and I sat and watched through several songs. Finally he leaned over to me and asked, "Why are we still sitting here, Bella?"

I looked at him and saw the challenge in his eyes. "What?"

He gave me that crooked smile of his. "I distinctly remember you saying you were going to ride me hard and put me away wet tonight…"

Oh God! I had said that, hadn't I? What had I been thinking?

"But here we sit," Edward continued. "Are you going to chicken out on me again?"

"No," I said automatically, loath to back down from any challenge he threw at me.

Then my brain caught up with my mouth. "Yes?" I phrased in the form of a question.

Great. What was this? Jeopardy?

"Come on, Bella," he said, his knee bumping against mine playfully. "There's nothing to be afraid of. You're a great dancer."

I smiled weakly. "I'm an okay dancer, Edward…in your bedroom with the door closed and only the two of us. But on a crowded dance floor? I know my natural klutziness will kick in."

"Bella," he said softly, looking earnestly into my eyes. "I won't let anything hurt you – not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise."

And just like that, I felt my fear melt away. I reached out and slipped my hand into his. "Alright, Edward. I'm all yours."

I thought I saw another flicker in his eyes then. I wasn't sure what it was…a softening, maybe? Some inner spark? I just knew that it made me feel like a freshly baked chocolate chip cookie just out of the oven – all warm and gooey. And just like before, it seemed to vanish in an instant, making me wonder if it had ever really been there in the first place.

Confused and a little shaken, I let him lead me out onto the dance floor. Luckily the music was a rock song with a thumping bass line. The last place I wanted to be right now was in Edward's arms.

Preoccupied, I put my body on autopilot and just followed his lead. It was easy enough to do – we'd danced like this together so often in private. Actually, I probably danced better this way, because I wasn't letting my brain overthink every move I made. If my head had been in the game, I probably would have taken out half the people on the dance floor around me with my terminal clumsiness. As it was, I thought I at least didn't look like a total spaz to anyone who might be casually watching me.

Inside my head, I was wondering what was going on. I _knew_ Edward only thought about me as a friend, so why did I keep imagining seeing something else in his expression? I bit my lower lip in concentration. What could it be?

"Bella," Edward's voice startled me. I looked up at the boy in front of me and suddenly realized that he was no longer a boy. He had grown up on me when I wasn't looking. He had had another growth spurt over the last few months that had added a couple of inches and several pounds to his once too slender frame. He'd gotten tall and strong, his looks more rugged and masculine than before. He had become a man.

Realization dawned on me. That was it! We weren't kids anymore! We were fifteen now. It wasn't Edward at all! He wasn't throwing off any sort of secret signals my way. It was just that we were growing, changing, looking at things in a different kind of way. It was my fifteen-year-old girl hormones that were going wonky on me. That was all.

Before, the only one who'd made my hormones sit up and say howdy was Jasper. But as I was getting older, becoming a woman, it made sense that they'd be a little out of whack. I just had to accept that it was normal and realize it was something I was going to have to get used to. It didn't mean anything.

And speaking of Jasper… Where the heck was he, anyway? Edward had said he would be here.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked me.

"Hmmm…" I hummed distractedly. He had interrupted my quick glance through the room for any sign of his brother. I quickly looked up at Edward and saw that he was frowning at me.

I answered his scowl with one of my own. "What do you mean?" I asked him.

"Well, you're here, but not here. I mean, you're here in body, but your thoughts seem to be about a million miles away. What's up?" he demanded.

"It's nothing," I reassured him quickly. I didn't want to tell him about my less than brilliant realization…that he'd become a man while I wasn't paying attention. Or the one about my wayward hormones either. Can you say, AWK-WARD! "I was just thinking that I hadn't seen Jazz tonight. He's here somewhere, right?"

Edward snorted. "Bella, you should know better," he admonished.

There was clearly something here that I just wasn't getting. "What?" I asked, confused again.

My best friend raised his eyebrow at me in disbelief. "Come on, Bella. You can't be that naïve."

I shook my head at him. "Apparently I am that naïve. Just say it, Edward. What am I missing here?"

Edward blew out an exasperated breath as he twirled me into his arms, my back coming to rest against his chest. Then his lips were at my ear, his breath making my skin tingle. "He's with Lucy. What do you _think_ they're doing, Bella."

_Oh! _ I felt my breath leave my body in a mad rush as if I had just had the wind knocked out of me. I kind of had…not physically, but emotionally. When I finally got some air back into my lungs, I said, "You mean, they're…ummm…" I couldn't make myself finish the thought.

Edward looked down at me with his crooked smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Yes, Bella. They're ummm. I'm sure they're umming like rabbits as we speak."

I felt my cheeks go up in flames.

I had heard rumors about Jasper and his "friends" of course. But I didn't like thinking there was any truth to the rumors. When did gossip become so reliable, dammit? And Edward had never said anything about it before. I was surprised he had said anything to me about it now. It just wasn't like him.

Luckily I was saved from having to say anything further as the song ended and Edward steered me off the floor. We returned to our table and he started to sit down until he noticed that I was still standing. He paused, looking at me with questions in his eyes.

"Ummm…" There went my cheeks flaming again as I was reminding of Jasper and Lucy umming. "I'm going to head to the ladies room. I'll be right back, okay?" I felt like I needed some time to get myself back under control. God, I hated being like this. Being a teenager sucked…all hormone crazy and emotions flying all over the place. And I only had another four years of this? Just kill me now.

"Okay, Bella. I'll be here when you get back," Edward assured me.

Turning away from him, I walked quickly toward the doors of the cafeteria and pushed my way through them. But once I found myself inside the restroom, I wasn't sure what I should do. I felt like splashing water on my blazing skin. That's what I would ordinarily do. I couldn't though…not without destroying the makeup Angela had taken so much time getting just right for me.

I leaned my hands against the cool porcelain of the sink, and looking up into my reflection in the mirror, I took several deep, steadying breaths. The girl peering out of the mirror at me didn't look too out of the ordinary. Yeah, she was flushed. But that could have been from the dancing. Nothing screamed that I'd just had my still-beating heart ripped out of my chest and my fondest wishes shattered.

The girl smirked at me cruelly. _Yeah, Jasper doesn't want you. And you needed Edward telling you that Jasper is sexing up Lucy to realize that? I don't think so, sweetheart._

I closed my eyes to block out my reflection. I didn't like the girl in the mirror very much at the moment.

I stood there, concentrating on taking slow, even breaths until I felt myself calm down a little. Well, at least enough that I thought I could face going back to the dance again. I never looked into the mirror again. I turned my back on the malicious girl who'd done nothing but tell me the truth, hurriedly left the restroom, and returned to the cafeteria.

As I entered, my eyes immediately went to our table seeking out Edward. He wasn't there. Nobody was.

I scanned the clumps of kids standing around, looking for my best friend. Maybe he'd seen someone he wanted to talk to. But he wasn't among any of the groups I saw encircling the dance floor. Nor was he sitting at a different table. Or in line to get something to drink.

And then I found him. He was near the middle of the floor, dancing with Angela. The music was a slow ballad. Edward had his arms around Angela's waist, holding her close, and her arms were wrapped around his neck. He was looking down at her with an eager smile as she spoke to him. He looked charmed by her. And then he suddenly threw his head back and laughed out loud.

As crappy as I had felt about Jazz and Lucy, I felt a thousand times worse now. Actually, I felt like I might get sick right there. The pain almost doubled me over.

That was my smile. That was my laugh. That was MY best friend. What did Angela think she was playing at?

An unbidden, unwanted thought hit me full force. I remembered Edward looking at Angela…at Angela and not at me… "You do know that a guy doesn't have to be a bad boy to love like that, right?" he'd asked her.

For the second time that night it felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest. Had I just lost my best friend…my Edward…to Angela?

* * *

I know it's been another long hiatus for this story. I apologize from the bottom of my heart. It was all Bella's fault. She was being very difficult and didn't want to talk to me.

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding, you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 7 – Moving On

This was my favorite place in the world to be. My happy place. Well, okay, it wasn't my very favorite place. That was still anywhere _she_ was. But since I wouldn't let myself go there anymore, this tied for my second favorite. And it was the only one that didn't remind me of her…much.

My other happy place was all wrapped up in her. Of course, she'd never been out on the field with me. She wasn't really there as I hit a double or stole a base or struck out the guy at bat. But if it weren't for Bella, I never would have found myself out on that field either. I smiled wistfully to myself as I remembered once again the first time we'd played catch. I thought about that day all the time. I couldn't help it. Without that day, that game, that conversation with Bella, I wouldn't have any of it. I wouldn't have that tingle that ran through me every time I made my way out of the dugout. I wouldn't have my team – guys who were closer than brothers. I wasn't even sure I'd have my pride and self-respect. She had given all of that to me.

My fingers absently settled over the ebony and ivory keys, playing a scrap of melody that I hadn't been consciously thinking of. It was _her_ song. Bella's song. The one I'd written for her. So much for not thinking of her here, sitting at my piano.

I couldn't help it, even though I'd had this before her. I had brought the piano and the endless hours of lessons with me when we'd moved from Chicago. I'd brought my love of the music and also the wonder of being able to create something from my imagination and my talent. But even here she had her place.

She was here in the memories of her sitting on the bench beside me, listening to me play. She was in the music I made…not just in the song I'd written for her, but she seemed to find her way into every song. There was always a movement or a feeling or a hint of indescribable something in the music that always brought Bella to my mind.

I could pretend though. Here, I could pretend that she wasn't inexorably entwined in my every thought, word, and action. This I'd had B.B. – Before Bella – and I'd have it long after. After we went our separate ways. After she found someone to love. After she made a new life with _him_ and forgot all about me.

God, I was starting to depress myself. I guess they didn't make happy places like they used to.

The piano issued forth a dissonant sound as I slammed my hand on the keys in frustration before pushing the piano bench away from the instrument and getting to my feet.

It wouldn't be me. It was never going to be me. It was time I accepted that and moved on with my life – really this time.

I'd tried before. When I'd realized that I was not who she wanted. When I knew for sure that I had just joined the ranks of every other guy who longed for her and would never have her.

I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging the locks, bringing a sting of pain to my scalp. I closed my eyes, trying to blot out the memory.

It had been over two years ago. Our freshman year. At Homecoming. I'd been so happy that night. Happy to be with her. She'd been so beautiful in her dark green halter dress that matched my shirt. Mine. But only because she was my date for the evening, not because she was really my girl.

If only…

She had tested my resolve that night. I had firmly decided not to risk our friendship. But the sight of her hair curled over her bare shoulders, the sides pulled away from her face and secured in emerald clips so that my eyes were drawn to her eyes, her cheekbones, her lips… I wanted more than her friendship. I wanted to have the right to touch those shoulders, to hold her in my arms, to kiss those lips.

Things weren't getting any easier. Every day, every _moment_ with her had become a struggle.

And then I'd asked her to dance.

She'd been reluctant at first. I'd had to promise her that I'd never let anything hurt her. It had been the easiest promise I'd ever made. Of course, I'd never let anything happen to my Bella.

The questions in her eyes cleared immediately. She looked at me with such trust as she placed her hand in mine and said, "Alright, Edward. I'm all yours."

I think those were the sweetest words I'd ever heard in my life. And I knew that I wanted that. I wanted her to be mine.

I just wasn't sure how exactly I was going to make it happen. So I'd said nothing out of the ordinary as we danced. Well, not about my feelings for her anyway.

I probably shouldn't have told her about what Jazz was up to with Lucy. She was so innocent about that kind of thing. But I hadn't really been thinking. My brain had been busy trying to process what I should do about the Bella situation.

Was I really going to do it? Was I finally going to put my feelings out there for her?

I was glad when our dance was over and Bella excused herself. It gave me some time to make up my mind once and for all. I _was_ going to do it. I was going to tell Bella I wanted more.

That was when Angela came back to our table and asked me to dance.

I was a little surprised when she asked me, because I knew how shy she was. But I guessed she might have been more at ease with me since we'd hung out a few times when she'd come over to see Bella. I couldn't say no to her – not knowing how much courage it took her to ask.

The song was a slow one. I was prepared to take Angela's hand in mine and put my other hand lightly on her waist to keep a respectful distance between us. That was when she surprised me again by stepping up to me and wrapping her arms around my neck. Automatically, I wrapped my arms around her waist. She was taller than Bella – almost as tall as me – so we were almost eye to eye.

I was uncomfortable – having Angela in my arms like that, having her face so close to mine – but a quick glance around at the couples dancing near us showed me that everyone else was dancing like us. In fact, this was the same position I always slow danced with Bella in. But that was…different.

Still, I didn't want to hurt Angela's feelings, and it was just one dance. So, I shrugged off my apprehensions.

Once I let myself relax, I didn't mind dancing with Angela. I really did like her, now that I was getting the chance to know her better. And she was comfortable enough with me to talk and even joke around. She made me laugh, and I was truly enjoying myself by the time the dance ended.

After thanking Angela for the dance, I led her back to our table. Bella was waiting for us. Another slow song was playing, and I wanted nothing more than to have Bella in my arms again.

I held out my hand to her. "May I have this dance?" I asked her politely, formally, because I knew it would make her smile.

And it did. She smiled up at me. But it wasn't the amused, playful smile I'd been expecting. Something was wrong about it. It didn't reach her eyes. She stood up and placed her hand in mine though.

I held her hand firmly as we walked to the dance floor. It always amazed me how good such a simple thing could feel – her hand in mine. Did I want more from her? Want _her_, in fact. Yes, of course I did. I was a red-blooded American male, after all. But I loved her, respected her, and I could appreciate the thrill of just being allowed to hold this girl's hand. It was an honor and a privilege that I hoped I never took for granted…even if my fondest dreams came true and she became mine.

When we reached the floor, I turned to face her and take her into my arms. She shocked me when she initially kept some distance between us, placing her hands on my shoulders instead of around my neck as she always had before. I wasn't having it though. I didn't want any distance between us for this. I wanted her body next to mine while I told her the most important secret of my life. I wrapped my arms around her waist and pulled her to me. After a moment of seeming hesitation, she let me hold her the way I wanted to.

Initially, neither of us spoke. We just moved together to the music. I had no idea what her thoughts were at the time, but _I_ was desperately trying to work up the courage to tell her how I felt about her.

Finally, I closed my eyes, pushed past my fear, and opened my mouth before I chickened out again. "Bella, there's something I want to tell you," I said quickly.

"Shh," she said, lying her head against my chest, "Edward, it's alright."

Okay…this was not exactly the reaction I'd been expecting. In fact, I wasn't sure exactly what her reaction meant at all.

I tried again. "But, Bella, I really have to tell you this. It's important."

She pulled back from me slightly and looked up at me. Her smile was still wrong. "It's okay, Edward. You don't have to say anything. I already know."

Well, shit. If that wasn't a kick in the gut…or at least felt like one as I felt the breath leave my body in a rush. She knew? I really had been that obvious, huh? Although on the upside, it did make the whole confession thing a lot easier.

"You already know?" I asked a little stupidly but also with a big dose of relief.

She nodded – her eyes still locked into mine – but maddeningly she didn't say anything else.

"And?" I asked.

"And, I think it is a great idea."

My heart felt like it might explode out of my chest. I didn't think my body could contain the swell of love and joy that flowed through it in that instant.

"You do?" I sighed in relief. Really, confession may be good for the soul, but it wasn't doing wonders for my articulation. Still, if Bella was willing to take the next step with me and become my girlfriend, I'd gladly stumble my way through this conversation with her.

She looked away from me before returning her head to my chest. I must admit, I was really starting to like that position. I was certain that I could get used to it fast.

"I do," she said firmly and I allowed myself a grin. "I mean, you two are my best friends in the world, and it would be great to see you both happy."

And just like that, I felt the grin slide from my lips. What was she talking about?

"I'm so excited for you, Edward. Angela is a wonderful girl. I know the two of you will be really happy together."

For the second time, I felt like I'd just been kicked. Although the cosmos's aim seemed to be lower than my gut this time. Me and _Angela_?

"You have my blessing. You and Angela, I mean. It's alright with me. I knew this day would come, Edward, and it's totally fine. It's natural. I knew that you would find someone eventually. And, yeah, I know things are going to have to change between us a little. But that's the way it should be. You're always going to be my friend. So, I understand if we need to adjust things so you can have a life. Don't feel bad about that, okay?" She said quickly, her words tumbling together in a torrent.

I heard her words, but my brain was having a very difficult time processing them. I didn't know how in the hell Bella had gotten such a ridiculous idea in her head. I didn't want Angela. I wanted Bella!

Then the meaning behind the words slowly started to sink in. I wanted Bella…but she wanted me to be with someone else. In fact, she'd expected it all along.

She didn't have the same dreams about us that I had. She wasn't just willing for me to date another girl – she was encouraging it.

I'd been fooling myself thinking that maybe she could feel something for me. It wasn't going to happen. Bella and I were never going to be more than friends. And the sooner I accepted that fact, the better off I would be.

"So?" she asked looking at me once again.

I needed to drag my brain back into the current conversation. It wasn't like my entire world had just shattered around me or anything, right? Yeah, right.

"So?" I prompted Bella, trying to figure out what I'd missed.

She sighed in exasperation. "Did you ask Angela out yet?"

"Oh…umm…no. Not yet."

"Well, what are you waiting for, Edward? I know she's shy, but you can't wait around forever. There is such a thing as waiting too long, you know. Act before the moment passes you by for good."

If I hadn't known that we were dancing too closely to accommodate a hilt between us, I would have sworn that Bella had slipped a dagger into my stomach and was slowly twisting. That's what it felt like anyway. She didn't know that she was advising me about Angela and all I could hear was advice I should have heeded about Bella years ago. I'd waited too long, and now it was too late.

All of a sudden I was insanely angry. I was angry with myself for letting her slip through my fingers. And I was angry at Bella for not loving me.

Along with the rage, I felt a hardening of my heart and a firm determination settle upon me. I would never let Bella see how much she'd hurt me. She wanted to see me with someone else? Fine. I would be only too happy to oblige.

"Don't worry," I told her as the dance ended and I set her determinedly away from me. "I'm going to ask her before the night is over."

~*~E~*~E~*~E~*~

Angela and I went out for seven months.

My first date was not with Bella. It was with Angela.

My first real kiss was with Angela.

And my first time was…_almost_ with Angela.

As our relationship progressed, Angela and I had made out a few times. But we'd never taken things very far beyond kissing – she was Reverend Weber's daughter after all. It wasn't that she was a prude, but she had her own strong moral beliefs that I respected.

There was once though, near the end of our relationship, when we both got really carried away.

We'd been at my house. Mom and Dad were both at the hospital. Dad was working, and Mom was volunteering. Jasper was _supposed_ to be chaperoning. Yeah, like he cared what Angela and I were doing. Actually, if Jasper had known, he probably would have slapped me on the back and offered his congratulations.

We had started out watching a movie – some inane comedy that we'd both seen before. It didn't take long for watching to turn into kissing.

I removed Angela's glasses. She looked really cute in the oval, rose-framed glasses, but I liked being able to see her light brown eyes without them in the way. Besides, removing them made kissing her easier.

Our kisses quickly became less than innocent. Angela parted her lips for me and I slipped my tongue into her mouth, tasting her. As her tongue stroked softly against mine, I moaned low in my throat at how good it felt.

I couldn't really swear to how it happened. But the point at which we usually stopped came and went. Before I knew it we were lying on the couch, me on top of Angela, and both of us half undressed.

I looked down at Angela, and she was beautiful like that. Her lips swollen from my kisses. Her naked breasts exposed to me…another first for me. I gave in to the temptation and leaned forward to taste them.

Soon we were lost in a haze of hormones and lust and emotion. She was left wearing nothing but her skirt. I had removed her panties and touched her intimately until she panted and moaned beneath me.

"Please, Edward," Angela begged as she reached for the button on my jeans. "I want this. I want you."

For an instant, just one, I let myself consider it.

"I love you, Edward. Please."

And just like that, it was over.

I had come to care for Angela. Really care. But I didn't love her. I couldn't tell her that I did. And I couldn't take something as precious as her virginity from her without it.

I had pulled away from her then. I'd gently told her that even though I wanted to, we shouldn't go through with it.

I'd seen the hurt and rejection in her eyes, even though she tried to hide it from me.

That was the beginning of the end. A couple of weeks of distance and uncomfortable silences followed until Angela finally broke things off with me.

Things were awkward between us for a while, but we finally weathered the post-breakup phase and resumed being friends. Angela fell in love with Ben Chaney, and he loved her in return. So things definitely worked out for the best. At least for them.

For me?

Well, I was right back in the same hell I'd been in before Angela – in love with my best friend who didn't love me back.

I'll admit it. I fell right back into the same destructive patterns with Bella. Destructive for me that is.

When Angela and I had been going out, my friendship with Bella was different. She pulled away from me. She was still my friend. And Angela's too. It was just that she seemed to hold herself back, keeping a distance between us that had never been there before.

I had hated it but figured it was what Bella thought she should do when Angela and I were a couple. I mean, it made sense. I was sure there weren't very many girls who would want their boyfriends to spend more time with another girl than with them. Not that Angela ever made an issue of my friendship with Bella. She didn't. But it just didn't seem possible for Bella and me to keep things the same when they clearly weren't. Add to that the fact that I knew I was in love with my best friend and not my girlfriend. Yeah, things got a little strained.

Once I was single again, Bella was…well, she was my Bella again.

You'd think I would have learned something, wouldn't you? She had stood by and watched me date Angela for months. Obviously, Bella didn't care for me that way. Not even a little. I couldn't fool myself into thinking that she ever would. So why couldn't I just enjoy her friendship and leave it at that? Why couldn't I stop loving her?

I lived this kind of sick half-existence through our entire sophomore and junior years – not wanting to examine our relationship or my feelings too closely – just basking in the glow that was life with Bella without allowing myself to think of having more.

It ended right after our final year of high school began. It ended when Bella finally said yes to Mike Newton.

As if I needed Bella dating Mike to drive home the point that she was never going to want me. Well, I thought I had accepted that once and for all when she pushed me towards Angela. But seeing her holding hands with Mike. Her…kissing him. Just the thought made me want to vomit. The sight wanted me to invent eye bleach and brain scrub.

They hadn't lasted long, Bella and Mike. They only went out for a couple of months. But I knew that there would be no way to put that genie back into the bottle. Once she'd said yes to one guy, I knew there would be others. And I just couldn't stand by and watch.

That was when I decided.

I didn't tell Bella. I didn't tell anyone – well, not until I'd absolutely had to. I just did it. Just to see what happened.

Now I knew for sure. Now I had to tell her.

There was no time like the present I guessed. So, leaving my piano behind, I walked out to the foyer. After retrieving them from the hall closet, I put on my shoes and coat. And opening the front door, I left the heated interior of the house and stepped into the still frigid March wind.

I walked quickly next door to Bella's, pulling my coat closer around me in an attempt to hold in more of my body heat. When I found myself standing before her front door, though, I couldn't bring myself to knock. I stood there for as long as I could, dreading what I was about to do with every fiber of my being. It was only when I no longer had any feeling in my hands and feet that I finally knocked.

Chief Swan answered the door.

"Edward," he said with a nod.

"Hi, Chief. I was wondering if I could see Bella?"

He frowned at me. His keen policing skills no doubt telling him something was wrong. That or he was concerned about finding an Edward-popsicle on his front porch.

"Sure," he agreed, stepping out of the doorway to allow me inside. "She's upstairs in her room. You know the rules, son. The door stays open at all times."

Bella's father knew that she and I were just friends. But that didn't mean he trusted me – or any other boy – alone with her behind a closed door. Not that I blamed him. If I had a daughter, I imagined I would feel the same way. Of course, he didn't know that my parents had no such qualms about their baby boy when I entertained Bella in my room, and we'd decided what the Chief didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

After assuring him that I would follow his rules and thanking him, I left Bella's father and headed upstairs to Bella's room.

I heard her soft, "Come in," in answer to my knock on her door. I took a deep breath. This was it.

"Edward!" She gave me her megawatt smile when I walked through the door, and I had immediate second thoughts. I didn't really need to do this now, did I?

"I'm so glad you're here!" she continued. "It came! Finally."

Uh oh. I had a bad feeling about this.

My bad feeling was confirmed when Bella waved a large, thick envelope at me. "A big envelope from UDub. You know what that means."

I did. It meant that she had been accepted to her first choice college, the University of Washington. It meant she'd be moving to Seattle this fall.

She didn't seem to notice yet that I didn't share her excitement.

"How do you think Jazz is going to react when he finds out we're going to be invading his turf again?"

She was so sure that I would be joining her. That we would both be going to the same school as my brother. That was my fault. I had let her believe it.

I turned my face away from her. I couldn't stand seeing the light that had slowly started to fade from her eyes. She'd finally realized I wasn't happy about her news.

"Edward, what is it? Haven't you gotten your acceptance yet? That's okay. You know you'll get in. Your grades and SAT scores were even better than mine. They have to let you in. I'm sure you'll get the letter soon. We applied at the same time, right?"

"Bella, stop. Please," I begged as her words plunged sharply into my heart. If only I deserved the faith she had in me.

"I got my acceptance letter from UDub two days ago," I told her quietly.

"You did?" she asked uncertainly. "But that's great news. Why didn't you tell me right away?"

This was it. This was when I finally had to man up and just tell her.

"Because I'm not going to UDub, Bella."

Silence followed my declaration. Bella didn't say anything, and neither did I. Finally I couldn't stand the suspense any longer and looked over at her to gage her reaction. Her face had blanched, and I could see the mixture of hurt and confusion in her eyes.

"What do you mean, Edward?" she said in a very small voice. "I thought we had it all planned."

I sighed. "No, Bella. You had it all planned, and I didn't contradict you. I probably should have, but I didn't see the point until I knew for sure."

"Knew what?" she asked in that same small tone that I hated. She sounded so unsure.

"I won't be going with you to Seattle," I told her firmly.

"But…of course you are, Edward," she said disbelievingly. "Where else would you go?"

"I've been accepted to the Jacobs School of Music," I told her resolutely. "I'll be going there to study Composition and Piano."

The hurt and confusion in her eyes intensified. "The Jacobs School of Music? I've never heard of it. But it's close, right? It'll be fine. We'll still be able to see each other all the time."

"Bella…" As I said her name I suddenly felt like I was a hundred years old instead of eighteen, and I paused to try and handle the wave of exhaustion that had swept over me.

"Just tell me," she said in a request reminiscent of someone who just wants the Band-Aid torn off.

So, I took a steadying breath and ripped off the Band-Aid for her.

"It's in Indiana."

* * *

I'm posting this chapter as a birthday present to myself. I'm 40 today, so I need to do something that makes me happy. Writing and posting this story for all my readers definitely fits the bill. :)

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding (or feel the need to rant about my characters), you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 8 – Where Do Broken Hearts Go

"Man, you have got to snap out of it. I've been patient. I've been understanding. I've been secretly watching episodes of Dr. Phil to figure out how to deal with you. But enough is enough. Seriously, Jasper! I'm not good at this touchy-feely emotional crap!"

Against my will I felt my lips twitch. The idea of Emmett McCarty being in the same zip code as anything touchy, feely, or emotional was enough to amuse even me.

Don't get me wrong. He was a great guy.

Some fortunate twist of fate had given me Emmett as a roommate my freshman year at UDub, and we'd been together ever since. And by "together" I meant in a totally macho heterosexual-guy-friend way.

Not that I had a problem with any of the GLBT crowd. If two guys had a thing for each other, it was none of my business. And if two girls were together…well, that made up 95% of my porn viewing, so I'd be a hypocrite to complain, right?

The bottom line, though, was that Emmett was too butch and way too fucking hairy to be my type.

But as a friend and a roommate he was great.

That first time I'd stumbled into my dorm room – my arms full of boxes and my weepy mom and stoic dad in tow – Emmett had been sitting on one of the beds, playing a game on his cell phone. His side of the room was completely unpacked and neat.

I'd found out later that his mother had marshaled him into the industrious unpacking. Like the good ole Southern boy he was, no one in the world cowed Emmett…except for his mama.

Seeing the three of us enter, he had set his game aside and quickly stood to help.

At 6'3", there weren't very many people I had to look up to. But Emmett was one of them. He had at least two inches on me, and he was huge with a heavily muscled frame. With his help, we made quick work of getting all my stuff hauled into our dorm room.

While we were moving boxes in, my mom kept up a steady stream of conversation with Emmett, and I learned the following about my new roommate. He was from Gatlinburg, Tennessee and had come to UDub on a football scholarship. He played defensive tackle, which didn't surprise me considering the size of him. He had a good sense of humor, liked to laugh, and regardless of being a scholarship football player seemed to be pretty damn smart. He was majoring in secondary education and hoped to teach Social Studies and maybe coach football in the future. And he had been raised to respect his elders, 'cause he almost sir-ed and ma'am-ed my parents to death.

After my parents left, I found out a few additional things about Emmett. He cursed like a sailor, liked a good off-color joke, let off steam with a few beers and a good party, and would chase anything in a skirt. In other words, I'd found my soul mate. He and I became the best of friends.

During that first year of college, we'd studied a little, drank way too much, and cut a swath through the freshman class of girls…and through the sophomore, junior and senior classes too.

I wasn't looking for a relationship. In fact, that was the last thing I'd wanted. Although I was still friends with Maria, Annette, and Lucy, we weren't "friends with benefits" anymore.

We'd all ended up at different colleges, and we called and emailed to keep in touch. But we'd all decided that what we'd had in high school was over.

I'd come to UDub with the intention of being young and stupid right along with everyone else. I'd figured if there was ever a time for a guy to let his inner-manwhore reign, it was college. And with Emmett as my wingman – or me as his – that's exactly what I did.

I was planning for my sophomore year to be a repeat of the year before on the girl front.

_She_ changed all my plans.

We'd only been back to school for a month. When I'd met her.

It was at a party thrown by one of Emmett's teammates.

It was totally corny, the way I saw her across a crowded room and was drawn to her. She was petite – tiny really – the kind of woman who made a man feel like it was his job to protect her. Her skin was pale and flawless. Her eyes a bright sapphire blue. Her inky black hair was cut into a short, spikey style that drew my eyes to her high cheekbones and delicate jawline. I wanted to plant a kiss right there, at the place where her jaw and neck met.

I played it cool. I wasn't going to rush to this girl's side. I was going to take my time, show her that I wasn't going to follow her around like a lovesick puppy. So I took an entire minute and a half before finding myself beside her.

"Hi," I said, obviously dazzling her with my witty conversational skills.

Shocking the hell out of me, she slipped her hand into mine and looked up at me with a smile. "You kept me waiting long enough," she said.

I guess that 90 seconds had seemed like an eternity to her too.

I was mesmerized by her eyes. They sparkled with joy and life…and I wanted that. I wanted her in my life.

"My apologies, ma'am," I responded without thinking. Christ, I'd been hanging around Emmett too long. I had picked up a bit of his accent and turn of phrase.

"Ah, a gentleman," she observed, the gleam in her eye becoming mischievous.

I chuckled. "Not hardly."

Her smile widened. "Thank God!"

~*~J~*~J~*~J~*~

Her name was Mary Alice Brandon.

Alice.

And she was everything I never knew I wanted.

She was intelligent, funny, and flirtatious. She was determined, vivacious, and quirky. Alice challenged me, made me laugh, and changed the way I saw the world around me.

It was just a fling. That's what I told myself.

I mean, who wouldn't want this woman in his bed?

I loved enveloping her body with mine. She seemed to be so delicate, but she demanded I give her all of myself, without holding anything back.

When I tried…when I was afraid that I might hurt her if I unleashed all the passion I had for her on her tiny body…she would pull me to her, cradling me with her hips, digging her fingers into my shoulders, and clasping her legs around me. She let me know that she wanted me. All of me. And God knew how I wanted her.

I don't know how it happened.

It was sex. Just sex.

So why did I want to spend more and more time with Alice?

Why was I happy just talking to her – finding out more about her – with our clothes on and no chance of getting naked on the horizon?

Why did I use any excuse to see her?

Why couldn't I bear for her to leave my bed and go home each night?

After three months of "just sex," I actually caught myself using the G-word in my thoughts.

Yes, that G-word. Girlfriend.

Jesus, I wanted Alice to be my girlfriend!

For the first time in my life, I wanted someone to belong to me, as I already belonged to her. I wanted a commitment with this girl. Me! Wasn't that one of the signs of the apocalypse or something?

I was in love. And I couldn't wait to tell Alice how I felt.

I wanted it to be special though. If I was finally going to tell a girl that I was ready for the whole boyfriend/girlfriend shebang – that I was, in fact, falling for her – then there should be a tickertape parade or fireworks extravaganza or some shit like that.

Okay, maybe not a parade or fireworks, but I could at least take her out to dinner, right?

On Wednesday, I'd made reservations at an expensive but very romantic restaurant for the following Saturday night. Then I'd called Alice.

"I can't on Saturday, Jasper. I'm busy," she told me.

Alright, that wasn't exactly the response I'd been expecting, but hey, she didn't know that I was going to pour my heart out to her or anything. I could roll with it. I'd just have to call the restaurant and reschedule the reservations. No big.

"Sure," I readily agreed. "Saturday's out. How about Friday instead?"

"Sorry. I promised I'd hang out with the girls this weekend. They've been bitching about how they never see me anymore."

Shit. I'd already asked her out twice. It wasn't like I was a desperate loser or anything. I had my pride.

"Sunday?" I asked like a desperate loser with no pride.

She sighed.

Why did she sigh? What did it mean? Ugh! I hated being the one trying to figure out the clues. I'd never had to before, and it really sucked balls.

"I need to get some studying done, and I have a paper to write. It's due Tuesday, Jazz."

I felt the bitter gall of disappointment settle in my stomach. I was going to have to put off talking to Alice. Still, it wasn't her fault. I really had been taking up a lot of her time over the last few months. I told myself it was only natural that she'd need a little break to catch up on everything else in her life. If I was going to do this relationship thing, I was going to have to learn to be flexible and understanding. It couldn't be all about me anymore.

So, I'd been the understanding not-quite-boyfriend and told Alice I'd catch up with her later in the week.

The following Thursday, I found myself on her doorstep. I'd called her, and she'd said it was okay for me to come over. My dinner plans were out, because we both had class early in the morning. But I just couldn't wait any longer. I had to see her, talk to her, tell her what was in my heart.

Alice answered the door and gave me a big smile. God, she took my breath away.

"Jasper, come in." She stepped back and I stepped inside.

I had barely crossed the threshold when she jumped straight into my arms. "I've missed you," she said, pressing a kiss at the base of my throat.

I smiled, amused. Her feet were dangling at least fourteen inches off the floor. I shifted her higher in my arms, and she clasped her legs around my waist. That ball of apprehension that I'd been carrying around in my gut for a week – the one that told me something was wrong with Alice – slackened, and I took my first easy breath in days.

I was just so new to this whole love thing. That's what it was. This was the first girl ever who could hurt me, and that scared me shitless.

"I missed you, too," I told her, dipping my head and kissing her lips. Damn, she tasted sweet.

After a few moments, she pulled away from me. I set her back on her feet and released her.

She took my hand and led me through the living room on the way to her bedroom. I waved at her roommates, Tia and Maggie, who were sitting on the couch, each wielding yellow highlighters and doing battle with their open textbooks. They looked up and gave me matching strained smiles.

Hmm… I guessed they were still pissed at me for taking Alice away from them so much. Either that or they should untwist the wad their panties were currently in. Nothing else could account for the grimaces on their faces.

As Alice shut her bedroom door behind me, I forgot all about her roommates and focused on the girl in front of me. I really needed my brain working so I could figure out exactly how I was going to approach this unprecedented love and commitment conversation.

Unfortunately, Alice had ideas for engaging my body and not my brain. And my brain was currently losing.

She'd started on the buttons of my shirt before her door had even clicked shut all the way and was currently swirling her tongue against every inch of skin exposed by her handiwork. Or maybe I should call it handsy-work, because her hands were all over me. This was great news for my dick, who had decided to stand up and be counted. For my brain though…well, thought processes tended to be hampered when all the blood rushed elsewhere. Any guy would attest to this unfortunate fact of male anatomy.

When her hand started to snake its way down the waistband of my pants, I decided that whatever it was I'd been dying to tell her wasn't so important after all.

Just as her hot little hand was about a centimeter from my cock though, my scrambled thoughts made one last ditch attempt to get through to me.

Talk. Tell. Love. Girlfriend. IMPORTANT!

Hey, you try to have a coherent thought with a girl's mouth on your nipple and her hand closing in on your dick.

I grabbed Alice's hand and gently removed it from my pants before taking a small step away from her. I needed a little distance if I was going to have to form words.

"Alice, we need to talk."

She tried to get close to me again to embrace me, but I took another step back, preserving that crucial distance between us.

She sighed then. Crap! What was with this girl and the sighing all of a sudden? It was driving me crazy.

"No, Jasper," she said, surprising me. "We really don't."

_Wait. What?_

I was confused.

"You don't owe me any sort of explanation, Jazz," she continued. "I don't care who she was or how many ways you fucked her. That's your business, not mine."

Okay, forget confused and make that completely baffled. What was she talking about?

"Alice, I think I missed a step. Can we go back a bit?" I asked, still waiting for my brain to catch up to this convo.

"Well, when you say 'we need to talk', that's usually guy-speak for I-fucked-somebody-else-and need-to-tell-you-all-about-it. It's fine, Jasper. So you hooked up with some girl this weekend. I know you think you need to unburden yourself to me, but there's no need. Really. I get that we're just having fun together. No confessions necessary."

_Umm… No. Not hardly. I'm in love with you._

"There wasn't another girl, Alice. A few days away from you doesn't require me to stick my dick into someone else," I said quietly. "I thought you understood that. I don't want anybody but you."

I could see the shock on her face. Damn it! She'd really had no idea.

"Jasper, I don't know what to say," she said, her voice breathy as if my revelation had knocked the wind out of her. "I'm not looking for a relationship. I didn't think you were either. It's college. I thought we were just using each other to get off and having a great time doing it. It never crossed my mind that you thought we were exclusive."

And with that word, "exclusive," rattling around in my brain, the ball of apprehension in my stomach was suddenly back…but now it was a fifty pound cannonball.

So, she thought I'd been screwing around this weekend? Hmm… Project much?

"Alice, what did you do this weekend?"

Suddenly she wouldn't look me in the eye any longer. "I told you, I spent some time with the girls."

"All weekend?" I asked, already pretty sure I knew the answer.

She turned her back on me and walked to her bedroom window, looking out into the gathering darkness. "No. Not all weekend, Jazz. I was with another guy, okay? I had a date. Somebody else asked me out, and I didn't think it was any big deal."

The cannonball was now one hundred pounds and was threatening to explode from my stomach, through my esophagus, and out of my mouth in a dazzling display of gastro-pyrotechnics. I may have been slow when it came to Alice, but I wasn't a complete idiot. It wasn't just a date. She'd fucked him, this other guy, and the mental pictures that I couldn't block out were making me nauseous.

"Not a big deal?" I asked angrily. "It's a very big deal, Alice. I happen to be in love with you!"

She whirled around to face me then. "In love with me? No! Stop this, Jasper. You're ruining everything!"

I strode to her and grabbed her arms roughly in my grasp, too angry to worry about hurting her. "I'm ruining everything? I'm not the one who spent the weekend doing the horizontal mambo with some guy."

She didn't bother to deny it.

Her eyes dropped to the floor. "I'm sorry. Truly, I am. I thought you and I were on the same page. Jasper, I never meant to hurt you. I really didn't. But I don't feel that way about you. I don't want anything more than what we already have. I…" she paused and looked up at me again, her eyes suddenly boring into mine. "I don't see a future for us, Jasper."

~*~J~*~J~*~J~*~

I don't remember much of the rest of that school year, since I spent most of my time trying to pickle myself in tequila, vodka, and bourbon.

There's no doubt in my mind that I would have flunked out my sophomore year if it hadn't been for Emmett. He made sure to beg, borrow, or steal notes for the classes I missed. He sobered me up whenever I absolutely had to study, taking the time to check on me, to keep me motivated, to quiz me, or whatever else I needed to kick me in the ass. He would even deposit me at the door of the required classroom whenever I had a test to make sure I actually made it there. Because of Emmett's Herculean efforts, I managed to squeak by.

I managed to cut back on the drinking when I came back for my junior year. And I didn't need Emmett to get me through my classes anymore. I was more than a little anti-social though.

It used to drive Emmett to distraction that he could almost never get me to leave the off-campus apartment we now shared. When I'd finally give in to his constant badgering and agree to go out, I would only add to his frustration by refusing to be his wingman anymore. He thought I should have my head examined when I told him I'd completely sworn off women.

I wasn't crazy though. Well, not straitjacket, padded room crazy. I was just suffering from good, old-fashioned clinical depression, and I knew it. After Alice, I had a hard time even getting out of bed. So, why would I ever want to put myself out there again and get involved with another woman?

It wasn't just that I wasn't looking for a relationship. I didn't want to have anything to do with women period. So I lived like a monk. For the first time in my adult life, I was completely celibate.

I'd decided not to go home the summer after my junior year. I'd seen how worried my mom had been that first summer I'd gone home after the Alice fiasco. I had tried to cover, tried to act normal around my parents and Edward, but my mom knew me too well. She could tell there was something wrong with me.

I'd tried to hide my drinking. I'd tried not to sleep fourteen hours a day. I'd tried not to flinch whenever someone touched me or when my parents wanted me to go out in public. I must have done a damn good job of it too. 'Cause it took my mom a whole week to confront me.

With a "Jasper, I want to know what's going on with you," followed by strategic silence and a deadly accurate use of a raised eyebrow, she got the Alice story out of me. Or she got the whitewashed, Disneyesque version of events. I told her I'd cared about a girl and it hadn't ended well. Then I told her that I'd get over it soon and I'd be fine. In other words, I lied through my teeth.

That had raised mom's eyebrow again. I knew she wasn't buying the line of bullshit I was giving her. But after several seconds of giving me a disbelieving glare, I could see her come to a decision. I did my best to stay still as she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight.

"I love you, Jazz. And I know you're a grown man. I understand that I'm not going to be able to protect you from the ugly parts of life anymore. You're going to have to make your own decisions and mistakes. I'm going to have to stand back and watch you live with the consequences. That's part of growing up – for both of us. But please tell me you know that I'm always here for you. You can talk to me. Lean on me. I want to help you if I can."

My arms came around her in a tentative embrace. "I know, mom. Thanks. I'm having a hard time right now, because this stuff just happened. I'll be fine. Really," I lied to her again.

So, I couldn't go back home that summer after my junior year. I couldn't give my mother several months of unfettered access to me. She was way too observant for my good. She'd know that it had been over a year since Alice had broken me, and I wasn't going to be fine. The truth was I wasn't sure I'd ever be fine again.

I'd told my parents that I wanted to get a summer job.

It wasn't a complete lie. I was actually planning to work over the summer. I didn't like the idea of my parents paying for everything. I wanted to contribute. I didn't want to be a spoiled brat living off my parents' money. It was one way that I could actually be a man. The only avenue Alice had left open to me.

And since the job market in Forks was pretty much non-existent, it was the perfect excuse not to go home.

Emmett decided to stay with me. He said that he thought staying in Seattle and working over the summer was a great idea. That he needed to make some money too. I think he was just worried about me and didn't want to leave me alone. The big, loveable doofus.

We each got a job in the same little neighborhood bar where we spent most of our time anyway. Emmett worked the door and looked generally intimidating to discourage anyone from wanting to start something. He was good at it too. He almost never had to break up drunken fights. I was hired as a kind of apprentice bartender. I was lucky to get the job, since I didn't have any bartending experience…well, not unless you counted pouring my own drinks. The owner of the bar – a very savvy businesswoman named Victoria – thought I'd bring in the female customers with my looks.

I'd been a little shocked when she'd come right out and told me that. And I'd been brutally honest when I'd told Victoria that I had no interest in women. She'd just smiled at me.

"Oh, honey. That's perfect," she'd told me. "I don't want you to date the customers. It's bad for business. I just want you to smile and be friendly. Let their imaginations do the rest. You're a good-looking boy, Jasper. They want the illusion. The fantasy. They want to imagine that you're interested. You can give them that, can't you?"

I didn't see the harm in it. As long as we were both clear that the illusion was all I'd be providing the clientele.

I'd taken the job. And it was actually good for me. It got me out of the house. It forced me to interact with people again. And if I had to fake being the happy, carefree, flirty guy I was at work, at least I was able to fake it. I felt like I had to be getting a little better, healing a bit, if I was no longer the drunken, cave-dwelling hermit I'd been.

Emmett knew the truth, of course. He had to deal with me during the off-hours, during the down times – and there were still a lot of those.

It was during one of those low periods that he'd told me to snap out of it.

I knew he had a point. I'd been nursing this broken heart of mine for almost two years now. I just – I don't know – I just hadn't been interested in anyone since Alice. I could pretend to be social and happy. I could even pretend to flirt with the women across my bar. But my shattered heart just wasn't in it.

It was a Friday night when Emmett confessed his secret Dr. Phil obsession – I had serious doubts that I was actually the reason for that by the way. After living with him for three years, I knew he was actually a reality TV addict. I'd even walked in on him Keeping up with the Kardashians more than a few times.

We were at the bar, but our shift hadn't started yet. It was September, and school had just started the week before. Victoria had asked both of us if we'd like to hold on to our jobs and work part-time for her during our senior year, and Emmett and I had both jumped at the chance. We really liked working there.

Since I knew the returning students would swell the number of customers in the bar that night, I was in the back, taking an unofficial inventory, making sure we had plenty of booze on hand. And because I was in the back where nobody could see me, I was wallowing in self-pity before I had to go out and turn on the charm. That's where Emmett found me.

"Listen, buddy. I really need you. I hate to bring up how big you owe me for putting up with you, you morose motherfucker." Coming from Emmett, I understood that he meant that as a term of endearment.

"Uh oh. What are you about to get me into?" I asked, not bothering to look up from the cases I was counting. I hadn't wanted to encourage him by making eye-contact. I had known Emmett too long not to recognize the gleam in his eye when he'd walked in. Whatever he was planning, I probably wasn't going to like it.

"The girl of my dreams just walked through the front door, Jazz. Long blonde hair, great tits, legs that go on for days. I _have_ to have this girl. You've gotta help me."

That got my attention. "What do you need me for? You've never exactly been shy, big guy. What could I possibly do?"

He ducked his head, unable to meet my eyes, and I suddenly had a bad feeling about this.

"Emmett?" I prompted.

"Well, she came in with a friend. I need you to run interference. Distract the friend for me?"

"Aw, Em. Do I have to?"

"Jasper, stop the martyr act, please. You are a straight, twenty-two-year-old guy. I'm asking you to entertain a young, pretty girl. I'm not asking you to marry her. I'm not even asking you to fuck her. I'm just asking you to talk to her while I get to know the future mother of my children. Be a pal, will ya?"

I let out a heart-felt sigh. I didn't really want to do this. But Emmett was right, I did owe him.

I needed to clarify something first though. "You said young. How young? She's legal, right?"

The place we worked at was primarily a bar, but sold enough food to be classed a restaurant too. That meant that we did get underage customers. It was something I had to be really careful with as a bartender. I had become an expert on detecting fake ids. I could even spot the really expensive, professional looking jobs like Em and I had had before we turned twenty-one.

"Freshmen, I think. Definitely over eighteen."

"But just over," I guessed.

Emmett had the grace to look sheepish. He shrugged. "The heart wants what the heart wants, Jazz."

I shook my head at him. How well I knew that lesson. I just hoped Emmett's story had a different ending than my own.

"Alright," I finally agreed. "Let's do this before I change my mind."

Emmett's eyes lit up like it was Christmas morning. "I love you, Jasper Cullen."

I laughed. "You're lucky I'm secure enough in my masculinity not to take that the wrong way," I said teasingly.

He gave me his wide two-dimple smile. "Well, if the blonde shoots me down… You know, maybe…" he replied, waggling his eyebrows at me.

"Don't even think about it. I'm not going to be your catcher, Emmett McCarty." I punched him in the biceps in a totally manly way. "But I will run interference with the barely-legal nymphet. Which proves I love you too."

Still smiling, I followed him out of the back room.

After walking out front, he stopped and leaned casually against the bar, not wanting to appear too eager. I stopped next to him and nonchalantly surveyed the room.

It didn't take long for me to narrow in on Emmett's prey. She was sitting at a tall table not far from the bar, and she was exactly as he'd described her. Definitely a knockout. But even if I hadn't given up on women, I never would have approached her. She absolutely screamed high maintenance to me.

Of course, to each his own, and by the look on my best friend's face, he had found exactly what he was looking for.

My eyes slipped past the blonde object of Em's affection and focused in on the friend. Her back was to me, so I couldn't see much. What I could see was long, mahogany hair curling down to fall almost to her waist. The girl was wearing one of those barely there, mostly backless scraps of fabric that were popular attire in the bars. It left her slender arms and shoulders bare, and I could see tantalizing glimpses of the snowy skin of her back as she moved and her hair swung momentarily aside. The color of her shirt, if you could call it that, was a midnight blue, and it gave her already luminous skin an added radiant glow.

My breath caught in my throat. I felt the hair on the nape of my neck stand up.

And that wasn't the only part of my body that was suddenly standing at attention. For the first time in almost two years, my dick was starting to harden for a real life, flesh and blood woman. You know, one who was actually in the same room with me and wasn't in any way porn related.

Without conscious thought, I was walking toward her.

I heard Emmett behind me saying my name. He was wasting his time trying to get my attention though. I couldn't stop, or turn around, or acknowledge him. All of my focus was on her.

I hadn't even seen her face yet, but I knew it didn't matter.

There was something about her.

I hadn't felt an attraction like this since Alice. But in my gut, I knew it wasn't the same at all. Every bit as strong, but in a way I'd never experienced before. Something deep inside of me was screaming at me that this girl was different, special, important.

I was two paces away from her when she must have heard my approach. She turned slowly towards me. I saw a long, graceful neck, a strong but feminine jaw, and the sweetest little shell of an ear I'd ever seen. She had a pert nose, the kind that made you want to kiss the tip of it. Her lips were a soft pink, her eyelashes long, thick and dark. Her profile sent a delicious shock all the way through me.

I couldn't really see her eyes yet. But I didn't need to. I knew they would be chocolate brown.

"Bella?" I asked in wonder.

* * *

Please let me know what you think, dear readers. Whether positive or negative, I'd still love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding (or feel the need to rant about my characters), you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Chapter 9 – Somebody That I Used to Know

"Hello," a bored male voice intoned through the long-distance line.

"Hi! Is Edward there?" I asked eagerly.

"No," Edward's roommate told me.

I waited for a few seconds to see if he was going to elaborate. Silence followed. I thought I heard crickets chirping in the background, but that might have been my imagination.

When I knew for sure that he wasn't going to give me any more information without prompting I asked, "Do you know when he'll be back?"

"No."

Oh great. Another monosyllable.

I was starting to get irritated…again.

Seriously though, what had I expected? This is how all of my conversations with Edward's roommate went. I didn't even know the guy's name. He'd never bothered to introduce himself.

"Do you know where he went?" I asked letting my exasperation leak into the question.

"No. He's off with Kate," he said, still using words with one syllable each, but actually giving me a bit more information this time.

My stomach started to hurt. This was _exactly_ how every conversation with this guy went. Edward was always with this mysterious Kate person.

"Well, can I leave him a message?" I asked a little more sharply than I should. My patience with Irritating Roommate was at an end.

"I guess," he droned tonelessly.

"Will you tell him Bella called? AGAIN."

"Sure," Irritating Roommate agreed, followed by a click and a dial tone.

I held the phone receiver in front of me, wrapped both hands around it, and proceeded to choke the life from it like I wanted to do to Irritating Roommate.

Needless to say, this guy was not my favorite person in the world.

Edward had been gone for over a month.

His classes had actually only started a couple of weeks ago. But since he was dragging his stuff two-thirds of the way across the country, he'd left early, deciding to arrive at his dorm at the earliest possible opportunity to move in.

He'd wanted to have some extra time to get acclimated and to explore the Indiana University campus so that he could become familiar with where things were. He hadn't wanted to spend his first week of classes totally turned around, lost, and depending on the kindness of strangers to give him directions.

It had been the mature and logical way for Edward to approach leaving to attend college so far away from home. Intellectually I knew it was a sound decision.

I still hadn't wanted him to go.

It was selfish of me. I knew that. But I didn't want him to go until the last possible moment. The truth was I wasn't ready to say goodbye. And I was hurt that Edward seemed so gung ho to leave me.

He wasn't leaving _me_ though, was he? He was just going off to school like everyone else our age was doing.

So, why did I feel so hurt…confused…bereft?

I should be happy for him. I _was_ happy for him.

Edward had made a decision based on what was best for him. He was a talented composer and pianist. He wouldn't have gotten into one of the best music programs in the country if he wasn't. He owed it to himself to go somewhere where he could take full advantage of how talented he was. Where he could learn and grow.

I wanted that for him. I did.

I just wished he could have done that at a place that wasn't two thousand miles away from me.

Actually, it was two thousand two hundred and forty-eight miles according to Yahoo maps. Yes, I'd been pathetic enough to look it up.

His parents had hired a small moving truck to take Edward's things to Indiana. Carlisle hadn't thought he could take time enough away from the hospital to drive a U-Haul that far himself. And when Esme had hinted that maybe she and Edward could drive the rented truck across the country alone, Carlisle had put his foot down. Taking their younger son – their last child at home – off to college was not something he was going to let his wife go through alone. The three of them flew from Seattle to Indianapolis and spent the night in a hotel near the airport. Then the following morning they'd driven a rental car the extra hour and a half down to Indiana University and met the movers at Edward's new dorm.

I'd wanted to go. I'd wanted to be there to see where he would be living. I'd wanted to make sure that he was settled and comfortable in his new surroundings. But the cost of a plane ticket made it impossible.

Well, that and the fact that Edward never asked me to go with him.

So, I'd said my goodbyes to my best friend in his driveway during the pre-dawn greyness of an August morning. With his parents looking on. It wasn't exactly the way I'd pictured it.

It was just the four of us there. Me and the three Cullens. Jasper hadn't bothered to come home for the summer. Not that it made much difference anyway. Over the last couple of years I hadn't really seen Jazz even when he was home. He'd always kept himself separate from his brother and me, but now it was like he'd left all of us completely behind.

The small number of our party should have given me a comfortable, intimate feeling. After all, there were no people in the world I was more at ease with than these three. So, why did I feel so jumpy? So nervous? So ill at ease?

I'd tried to distract myself by helping to load their luggage into Carlisle's Mercedes, but Edward and his dad handled most of the heavy lifting. My friend seemed to be constantly in motion and in not much of a mood to talk. It was five o'clock in the morning, so maybe that had something to do with his silence. And maybe the extra-large coffee I'd seen him chug could explain the excess energy. Or maybe it was just the nervous excitement of leaving home.

The car was loaded. Time was growing short. And still he wouldn't stop pacing around. I was finally reduced to practically hurtling myself into his path and narrowly missing a head-on collision. I fisted my hands into the front of his jacket, wanting to keep ahold of him until I had to let go. If I could have, I think I would have burrowed inside of him. That way he would have had to take me with him, right?

It wasn't all about me at the moment though. I needed to be there for him. To give him comfort and calm him down. This was for him and not me. "You'll do great, Edward. I know it," I said.

"I know," he responded quickly. A little too quickly? He wouldn't look at me.

"Hey," I said to get his attention, lightly bumping my fists against his chest. When he finally looked down at me I continued, "You're the most talented man I know. They'd be crazy not to see how terrific you are."

Without waiting for him to say anything else, I slid my arms around his waist and held him close. I felt tears welling in my eyes.

I didn't think I could do this. How did I do this? How did I let him go?

It took a few seconds before I felt his arms wrap around me too. I heard his whisper in my ear. "It's going to be okay, Bella. It's all going to be okay. I promise."

Hearing him say it. Hearing him promise me. He almost made me believe it.

"Take care of yourself, do you hear me? Don't get so caught up in studying and playing piano and meeting new people and partying that you forget to eat and sleep occasionally. I will drive all the way to Indiana and kick your butt if I have to, Edward Cullen. So don't test me."

He pulled away from me then and tried to give me his crooked grin, but it looked a little forced. "Yes, Miss Swan."

"Let me know when you get there, okay?"

"Alright, Bella," he said, taking a step away from me. "Good luck this year. Take some of your own advice too, okay?"

My heart clenched. I knew this was a goodbye, but did it have to sound so… I don't know… Final?

Without another word, Edward spun on his heel and was gone. I heard his car door slam and watched Carlisle's Mercedes back down the driveway.

I wanted to run after them. I wanted to scream for them to stop. But I couldn't. I was frozen. I couldn't make myself believe that this was really happening. It was though. It really was.

I was alone.

And I realized I hated the way that made me feel.

~*~B~*~B~*~B~*~

It was seven in the evening when my worry became absolute panic.

Their plane should have landed at 4 o'clock in the afternoon my time. It had been three hours, and I still hadn't heard from Edward.

I had tried to be patient. Tried to understand that planes didn't always take off or land on time. Tried to be realistic when I imagined the time it would take before they would be allowed off the plane. Or how long it would take for them to claim their luggage.

It wasn't like Edward not to call me. Especially not when he'd told me he would. I hadn't exactly expected him to call the instant he'd stepped off the plane. Well, maybe I had. But I had told myself that was a ridiculous expectation.

Maybe he had been tired. It had been a marathon day for him after all. And I was sure that spending the day in cars and airport lounges and on airplanes had been grueling. I'd told myself that he'd probably call me after he got to the hotel. Or maybe after he got something to eat.

By eight o'clock, I had the television tuned into CNN, waiting for news that Edward's plane had crashed.

I had tried calling Edward's cell a few times. Alright, maybe I'd called sixteen times. And every single one of those calls had gone through to voice mail. Where _was_ he?

I was startled from reading the news banner at the bottom of the CNN broadcast when my phone sounded. It didn't ring with Edward's ring tone like I expected though. It buzzed to indicate an incoming text message.

**Here ok. Ttyl. ~E**

What? That was it? He'd given me my first grey hair, and that was all I got for it?

I immediately started to dial his number. But halfway through, my brain caught up with my fingers, and I hit the End button instead. I wasn't going to call him. If I called again, I would just look pathetic...like the seventeenth call was monumentally more pathetic than the first sixteen.

After my moment of pique though, I started to reconsider.

I didn't reconsider making that seventeenth call. There was no way I was going to do that.

But I reconsidered my anger at my friend. There had to be a reason that he hadn't called me.

This was Edward. It had been a long, exciting, exhausting day for him. He had to have just been caught up in all of that. He was never thoughtless…never careless…not when it came to me. He'd call me soon – probably first thing in the morning. I was just going to have to be patient.

~*~B~*~B~*~B~*~

My patience quickly ran thin.

With all the ways there were to stay in touch in this day and age, it should not be this difficult to connect to my best friend in the world. In the month that Edward had been gone, I hadn't spoken to him once.

I'd given up on the not-calling-his-cell-because-I-would-look-like-a-pathetic-loser thing after the third day.

I always got his voicemail.

And he never called me back.

Just when I thought I should give up trying though, I'd get a text from Edward.

They were always short.

But they were enough to encourage me not to give up.

I sent him long emails asking him to tell me everything about his new life and telling him about my preparations to move to Seattle. I wrote epic treatises on the minutest details of my life.

After five unanswered emails, this is what I finally received in return.

_Bella,_

_Things here good. Meeting new people. Making friends. I've been really busy._

_Don't worry about heading off to UDub. You'll do great._

_Edward_

Seriously? What. The. Fuck?

That's when I'd gotten his dorm phone number from his mom.

I could tell she'd been taken aback when I'd asked. She was as surprised as I was that Edward had been so out of touch with me. Apparently he called his parents at least twice a week.

This was Esme, so she was kind and generous and reassuring as she handed me the number. She told me what a big adjustment college was for anyone and that for Edward – striking out on his own for the first time so far away from home – it was going to be especially tough. She urged me to be patient, to give him time to settle in.

It made sense. I knew it did. But that didn't mean that Edward's distance didn't hurt.

I was determined to take Esme's advice to heart though. I wouldn't give up. So, I added periodic phone calls to his dorm room to the cell phone calls and emails.

Three things happened during those phone calls to Edward's dorm room. I "met" Irritating Roommate. I found out that Edward never seemed to actually be in his room. And I learned that he was always in the company of someone named Kate.

But who was Kate?

Considering how much time Edward apparently spent with her, you'd think he would have mentioned her in the one email he'd bothered to send me.

"Meeting new people. Making friends," he'd written.

Kate?

Was that what she was? A new friend?

Just a friend?

A new best friend maybe?

Or maybe a new girlfriend?

It was time, wasn't it? He hadn't dated anyone since Angela. So now that he was in a new place – a bigger pond, so to speak – wasn't it entirely logical that he'd met someone? I hadn't expected him to be single forever.

Had I?

No, it was the idea of this girl replacing me as Edward's friend that had twisted my stomach in knots. It had to be.

So when the time came for me to do my own moving to the dorm thing, I was extra anxious. Because added to the normal nerves of starting a new life on my own for the first time was the worry and fear that I was losing Edward.

I did have to admit that once I got there, I thought I understood why Edward may have been so hard to pin down, at least in part. College was overwhelming. Everything was new. Everything was different. And unlike the first eighteen years of my life, I didn't have my mom and dad to lean on. Or Edward. I didn't have anybody, and that was scary as hell.

I was also trying to get to know my new roommate, who was not the easiest nut to crack. Rosalie Hale was tall, blonde, and gorgeous. She also carried herself in a cool, almost regal manner – removed from us mere mortals like a goddess descended from Mount Olympus.

At first, I'd thought she was just stuck up. It was easy for me to imagine someone that beautiful would be a spoiled rotten brat with the matching bad attitude. A girl who looked like that must have always had the world at her feet, right?

I'd refused to let her ice queen demeanor deter me from trying with her though. And little by little I realized that maybe things with Rosalie Hale weren't all that they seemed. She gave me glimpses of the real her that convinced me that there was a person worth knowing underneath all her prickly layers. I got the sense that her coolness and reserve were her defense mechanisms. For some reason I had the distinct impression that they covered a vulnerability and unwillingness to let anyone get too close. So I kept at her. Slowly peeling back bits and pieces of those protective layers and refusing to let myself get offended and scared off when she tried to keep me at arm's length.

After a few nights sleeping in the same room with her, I found out why Rosalie was the way she was.

On the second night, she woke me up with her screaming. Turning on the lamp beside my bed, I looked over to her side of the room, trying to clear my sleep-clouded brain to figure out what in the heck was going on. Rosalie was sitting straight up in her bed, covered in sweat, her eyes wide open but seeing something I obviously could not. And even though her eyes were open, I wasn't entirely certain she was really awake.

"Rosalie," I said her name tentatively.

She continued to stare straight ahead. Her screaming had ceased, but her breath was coming in gasping pants.

"Rosalie!" I said louder, climbing out of bed and hurrying to her side.

When I touched her shoulder, she finally looked at me. After a moment of blankness, I saw the light come back into her eyes. "Bella?"

"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay?"

I saw her swallow hard and take a deep, steadying breath. And then the ice queen returned.

"I'm fine. Goodnight."

She lay back down and rolled away from me, giving me her back and pulling the covers up over her shoulder, clearly dismissing me.

A few nights later, I awoke to her heartbroken sobs. Flipping on the light once again, I found her cowering in the corner at the head of her bed, her back against the wall and her knees drawn up protectively.

Seeing her like that, so wounded and scared, I didn't think. I just reacted. In a moment I was next to her with my arms around her, like a mother comforting a frightened child.

I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I just hugged her and let her cry herself out.

Finally, she was quiet, and I started to feel a little awkward and silly. Who was I to offer comfort to Aphrodite? I was getting ready to release her and scoot off the bed when her voice stopped me.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?" I responded.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

Her question surprised me. It seemed to be so apropos of nothing. Maybe that's why Edward's face popped unexpectedly into my mind.

I quickly shook his image from my inner-eye.

It was just that Edward was the one who came to mind when I heard the words boy and friend. It was an entirely different context then what Rosalie was actually asking me.

"No," I told her. "I went out with a guy from school, Mike, for a little while last year. It didn't really work out though. I just went out with him because he kind of wore me down by asking me a million times. And I felt like I was the only girl in high school who'd never had a date. It was a mistake. I didn't really feel that way about him."

"Did he ever hurt you?" she asked, not looking at me, her forehead resting on her knees.

"Hurt me?" I said, not really understanding. "No, of course not."

"You're lucky," she said quietly.

Suddenly the truth clicked in my brain. "And you weren't."

She shook her head and gave a hysterical half-laugh. "No, I wasn't."

I was silent but hugged her just a little tighter, trying to let her know that we didn't have to talk about it if she didn't want to, but at the same time that I was there for her.

"I had a boyfriend. Royce."

She paused. I thought she was trying to decide whether or not she should go on. And then she did. "He was a football player. I was a cheerleader. We were kind of the golden couple. At least that's what everyone thought. Even me."

She glanced at me, but when she saw me looking back at her, she dropped her eyes. "I thought that up until the night he celebrated a big win by drugging me and passing me around to his friends."

I covered my mouth with my hand – partly out of shock and partly because I felt sick. I had thought I knew where this story was going, but it turned out to be so much worse.

"I knew something had happened. The next morning. I woke up naked and alone. I was sore all over. There was blood on the bed and between my thighs."

"You were a virgin," I guessed, horrified.

She nodded.

"Where were your parents?" I asked.

She gave that hysterical laugh again. "They were home. I wasn't. I was at Royce's. I lied to them. Told them that I was staying over at a friend's house. So I could be alone with Royce. So I could give myself to him. Isn't that funny? He ended up taking my virginity that night, just not in the way I'd imagined."

"God, Rose, I'm so sorry."

"I don't need your pity," she said harshly, lashing out at me.

"I know. It's not pity. It's empathy, Rosalie. That shouldn't have happened to you, and I'm sorry that it did. That's all."

After a moment, she seemed to accept that.

"Bella, take my advice – don't trust them. Men. You think you know them. You think they care – that maybe they even love you. But it's a lie. Don't fall for it the way I did."

Again, I didn't know what to say. So I let the silence grow between us again before my curiosity brought me to ask, "What happened to the guys who did that to you?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?" I asked incredulously.

"I never reported it. You're actually the first person I've ever told."

"Why?"

She sighed. "I was an idiot, Bella. At first I thought it was just Royce. And even after what he'd done, I still loved him. I didn't want to get him in trouble. I didn't know about the others. Not until I became the school joke."

"A joke? What happened to you was in no way funny, Rosalie."

"The guys at school sure seemed to think it was a joke. They laughed about it enough anyway. The girls? Well, they let me know in no uncertain terms that it was exactly what I'd deserved. I actually heard two girls I thought were my best friends say that. That I'd deserved what I got for acting so perfect all the time. After that, I was just too ashamed to tell anyone who didn't already know. I felt like it was partially my fault. I was the one who wanted to be alone with Royce."

I was angry on her behalf. I couldn't believe what had happened to her.

Not just the rape, although I couldn't fathom how anyone could do something so horrific to a fellow human being.

But Rosalie had been violated a second time by the small-minded cruelty of her classmates.

I was even more angry that this kind of thing could still happen. That these kind of attitudes still existed. We hadn't really come as far as a society as we sometimes liked to think. It was just the same old shit on a different day.

"It wasn't your fault, Rosalie."

I saw the doubt and cynicism in her eyes.

"It wasn't," I said again emphatically.

"And listen, I'm always here," I told her. "If you ever need me. To talk. Or to listen. Or to make you laugh if you need it. I'd like to be your friend. A true friend, Rosalie."

I thought maybe from the look in her eye that she wanted to believe me. But her experience had taught her to be wary.

I understood that, and I was willing to be patient. I knew that like Rome, friendship with Rosalie Hale wouldn't be built in a day.

I'd expected her to withdraw from me the next day…to push me away. She'd told me some pretty intimate stuff in the dark that I thought she'd want to hide from in the light of day.

She completely surprised me when she asked me to go out with her that evening to celebrate the end of our first week of classes.

"Come on, Bella. I need to decompress. We'll have dinner. Have a few drinks."

When I raised my eyebrow at her, she clarified, "Virgin, of course."

I laughed. "What's the point in that?"

She actually smiled a little. "We can pretend. I may even mock-slur and stumble for you."

I was impressed. Rosalie Hale had just made a joke!

"I feel like dancing," she continued. "I know the perfect place. I've heard about it on campus. It's not far."

I was happy that she hadn't retreated from me. That she actually seemed to be making a gesture toward friendship. I'd wanted to encourage that, so I'd agreed.

I wasn't so sure of myself two hours later when I found myself sitting in a local bar and grill totally self-conscious in a hip-hugging pair of jeans and a borrowed shirt that Rosalie had insisted I wear. I _never_ would have worn it on my own. It just wasn't me.

As I looked around, I noticed that Rosalie had been right – that most of the other girls in this place were wearing similar outfits. I had put up a feeble protest when she'd first held up the scrap of midnight blue nothing that was supposed to be a top, but she'd reminded me that we were going to be dancing. We needed something that we weren't going to overheat in. Still, I was nervous. I hadn't shown this much skin since… Well, since birth to be honest.

Rosalie and I had ordered dinner and were sipping our virgin strawberry daiquiris when I suddenly felt someone's eyes on my back.

But rather than be creeped out, I felt a pleasant chill spread across my skin.

Goosebumps rose on my arms.

I knew there was someone behind me. Someone watching me.

I started to turn around to find out who it could be.

Then I heard a voice.

_His_ voice.

"Bella?" Jasper asked.

* * *

Please don't blame the author. The characters have minds of their own. ;)

I'm not sure I can promise a chapter every week from now until the end. I am still writing and immediately posting chapters. I don't have any in reserve. But I have been riding a creative wave lately, and I promise to take full advantage of that.

Thanks to DeltaSwan90 and my2galspal for doing beta duties for me and to Vican for making the Destination Wedding banner!

If any of you have any questions or comments about Destination Wedding (or feel the need to rant about my characters), you can find me on the Destination Wedding thread on twilighted. http:/www(dot)twilighted(dot)net/forum/viewtopic(dot)php?f=44&t=14195&start=0


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